Pirates of the Naruverse
by frozen yoyo
Summary: my version of a female CAPTAIN jack sparrow. Kou was just the average ace pirate. Until she fell skull first into the naruto world and gets tangled with the plot. Oh, she can get home alright. Shes just in it for the fun.
1. introducing: Captain Kou! not cow kooo

Oh em gizzle! First evah fanfic! This story has been buggin me so...yep. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: omfg...my first disclaimer...I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR THE AKATSUKI!

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><p>Hello there. The names Kou. No. Not pronounced cow. Ko-oo. Kou.<p>

I have no idea why am telling you this seeing how this is my own brain. Oh well.

It makes me feel less lonely. I'm not gonna bother with my last name since you ARE my brain, you should know it.

If my brain didn't even know my last name, I would be seriously worried.

I come from treasure planet. We are all pirates who steal money and gold and such. Hence the name.

We have our very advanced technology. We even know of the different worlds.

Yep. I know what some of you are thinking. Honestly, if we come this far, why do we steal? Simple.

The pirates travel to good for nothing planets that don't use their own resources correctly and use their money to buy the things the good for nothing planets find valuable.

What, you thought we make food and materials out of thin air? We're advanced but not miracle workers. But we ignore the good planets like earth, serenity, mars and such.

So basically, treasure planet's pirates aren't exactly bad. They're not good either to other planets. Depends on how you think.

I personally don't care. I'm in it for the adventure. In my big planet, im wanted.

People hire pirates to go and steal stuff they need from the planets.

Apparently im what we call the really good skilled pirates rank 12. The kick ass ones are below 12. Nobody has gone below 5. No one is that good.

Personally, I don't think im that good. But sadly the people of this planet had made me a negative.

Yep. Can't get any better than negative.

Some other planets we've thieved from knows of us but only the some.

The people that hire pirates on treasure planet always try to find me when in need of something but fail in finding me.

Only those who actually get lucky enough to find me...find me.

So I take their request, do, and return. Doesn't take a genius.

But the thrill of going out there for a purpose is just exhilarating!

I'm known as having...bipolar issues...some claim to me having a personality disorder. Others say I escaped a hospital ward by chewing through my straight jacket.

Heck people go so far as to call me a vampire and be serious about it.

But those are just myths about me. But who knows?

I might be bipolar. I might have a second personality. I just might be in the pre-stages of vampire-ness!

Ahh well. Well find out soon enough if people start disappearing.

No. I didn't forget the claim about the straight jacket. That ones actually true. I went to the planet silent hill full of homicidal monsters and zombies.

They trapped me in a straight jacket trying to force down this weird liquid.

That's when I chewed through the stupid thing. Do NOT ask me how it tasted.

Anyway, lookey here.

Im in the planet reptilian for some vacation time (they have great beaches).

I'm out on the beach at night gazing at their interesting cobra shaped moon, and guess what?

Some dude covered in cloth comes over and asks "do you like snakes little girl?" in a creepy voice.

So I did the immediate reflex when some weirdo goes up to you and asks the 'do you like _ little girl?' line.

No. I don't do the 'ignore strangers and walk away' routine. I did the 'kick him the place where the sun don't shine really hard to make sure he cant multiply then point and laugh at him evilly then run away screaming "YOULL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE SUCKAH!' routine.

But I looked back and saw the guy rolling on the ground back and forth. You can guess what I did to help him with the trauma of never being able to multiply ever again.

I walked back to him and

I... started evilly laughing my head off while pointing and holding my stomach trying not to die laughing! I know it was mean but...come on! Muahahaa!

After what was probably 15 minutes of madness, Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz (as I deemed him worthy of such a wonderful name)

got up and practically screeched like my 'angel' of a mother "You will pay pest!" then Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz started doing these weird things with his hands.

At first I was getting the impression he wanted to play patty cake.

But when he finished, everything was developed into darkness.

I felt like I was falling. Which indeed I was. I felt kinda calm. Excited even. The feeling of falling in pretty awesome. Or maybe is it just me?

Anyway as I looked up with a grin on my face I saw what Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz looked like.

The cloth on his head was removed so what I saw was to me was a mixture of interesting and hm... How do I put it? Pedophile like.

I saw white skin (not even the cool white skin. Like disgusting looking white skin) and long black hair. The facial features were earwax yellow eyes and weird purple stuff under his eyes.

For a second I saw his face was in a wicked creepy pedophile-ish smile.

But when he saw the grin on my face I saw his face contort into something of frustration and confusion. Then I lost sight of him.

During the exact 5 seconds I was falling in the pitch darkness,

I was just thinking about how much I wanted to poke his face to see if would explode or melt.

Then I was thinking of how much of a woman he looked like. That's when I notice the bottom of the darkness had weird light.

I looked closer I was getting close to clouds...then I saw tree tops...then I saw ground...then I saw ants...then I realized those weren't ants.

That's when I started screaming "GET OUT OF THE FREAKING WAY!"

I looked at their faces again and saw that it held confusion and they showed no signs of moving.

"GET THE FRICK OUTTA THE WAY UNLESS YOU WANNA DIE!" then the people jumped slash ran into the trees.

I was hoping they were far because where they just were, is where my plan was taking place.

In the few seconds that I had left to do something before I probably died and mutilated myself on the ground,

I put my hands together as if holding a gun about to pull a trigger as my special pistol materialized in my hands.

I quickly shot a couple of trees and made it look like a green pillow from the sky.

My gun the disappeared into thin air as I smirked at my handy work.

It wasn't until my nose hit the first leaf that it occurred to me:

Trees. Have. _Branches_.

And that's how I ended up stuck up side down in a tree in front of two guys who probably committed the biggest fashion crime in the galaxy.

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><p>How'd yall like it? I wanted to explain her customs and what she usually does before you go thinking she's a regular teenager who got sucked into the world of naruto. I like those fanfics a lot but I wanted mine to be a bit more spontaneous. There gonna be a real plot to the story. And the clues to her past will come later and so will how she looks like.<p> 


	2. introducing: Fish face and Gramps!

Hellllloo my love biscuits! I'm right now typing this up during the time that I still have one day till I can post stories and this story is seriously gnawing at my brain. Heck, I might even type up a 3rd chapter. The likely-ness of that is probably a good 30%. Ehh the likely-ness of me starting the first half of the 3rd chap is... maybe 40%.

Set aside the math, enjoy ness!

DISCLAIMY: me does not ownz da naruto or tiz characterz. (Its still a disclaimer right?)

Akatsuki pov

The two akatsuki members were walking back to the base on a small dirt path in a thick forest in complete silence. The tall one with the features of a shark didn't wasn't quite appreciating the silence as much as the shorter one beside him with red eyes and black hair.

Much to the shorter ones dismay but the taller ones relief, they heard a loud shout. It sounded muffled and that it was coming upwards above them. What they thought they heard was "Het outta tha griffin way." The two looked up and realized it was a person. Soon they heard the figure in the sky scream "GET THE FRICK OUTTA THE WAY UNLESS YOU WANNA DIE!" glancing to each other, they did a small nod and at the same time ran and disappeared into the thickness of the green trees.

Both getting ready to strike at whomever or in any case whatever the stranger was. Two seconds later they saw the several trees next to the one they were perched on go crashing do with their leaf filled branches go up. Another second after that, they heard the stranger from the sky crash down into the now sideways trees. The pair went up to the figure stuck in a tangled mess of sticks and leaves poking at it in all directions.

Kisame was trying (and failing) to hide a chuckle at its position of hanging upside down while Itachi was inspecting it for weapons as neither of them noticed the gender of the person yet. After Kisame's little giggling fit and Itachi's inspecting, they both the looked at the expectant expression of the stranger.

Kou pov

Okay. So you see a stranger that just fell out of the sky screaming for you to get put of the way or youll die and is hanging upside down from a branch. So what do you do? You friggen help them down of course! "So you gonna help me down or what?" I say to them. The two guys glance at each other before the taller one threw a sharp thingy that I think is called a kunai at the small branch holding up by my ankle. Now I feel a weird feeling in my skull... oh yeah... my heads on the ground..."OW! That hurt Mr...what the snot is going on with your face?"

That's when I finally bothered to look at the person who might have caused me brain trauma and his friend a few feet away. I know it was a mean thing to say but...seriously! What is up with his face? He looks like a frikken fish! With the beady eyes and the gills and the teeth! Even his skin and hair is blue. And the hair...it's like gravity defying!

His friend is shorter than him, but that's understandable since fish face over here is like really tall. The friend had black hair and red eyes with these little thingies in them.

It reminded me of this yummy cup cake over in planet cups'n'cakes (yes there's a planet cups'n'cakes) that had red icing and black m&ms on it...hmm...well anyway;

The guy had these lines on his face that looked like deep wrinkles. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he was young! They both wore this head band thing on their foreheads with something on it. Gramps's head band had what looked like a snail with a line through it while fish face had something that resembled two squiggles and a line through it and they both wore this black robe looking things with red puffy's on them. What is it, matching day?

After my observation of which I declared 'the couple', I mentally did a check list of what is on me. Bag: check. Hat: check. Stuff in bag: check. Body parts: check. Unicorn: none (sadly) no unicorn: check...

"Alright! Well it was nice seeing you, but I better get goin." As I was about to put my pointer and thumb on both my hands together to form a triangle to get back on pirate ship parked and hidden behind a star in the reptilian planet, fish face was on my left and gramps on my left about to grab my wrists until I stepped backwards and they ended up capturing the others hands.

In that quick moment I took out my phone and took a picture of them holding each others hands with a serious face making it look like they were about to confess each other's feelings! I do this for a client. She has a thing for this stuff so when ever I bring a picture to of some random guys cuddlin or something on my travels, she gives me whole bunches money and supplies I need.

So when the couple realized I was next to them, they immediately let go of each other as fish face looked disgusted and gramps looked annoyed. They faced me for a moment then after am awkward silence and a gay baby being born somewhere in the world, I started speaking

"Uhm...sup?"

Yuu likey? It would really fire up my determination if you ppl reviewed. Thx if you read!


	3. introducing: Kou's entertainment!

Hhaaaaaay there. I know theres not even one review...sniffle*,...but that wont stop me from starting the third chapter! *fist pump* YEA! Plus, I have my oc to keep me company!...

Kou: wow. Do you have no friends?

...its summer vacation!

Kou: that's just sad...

Sigh...disclaimer: I do not own naruto or any of the characters.

Kou's pov

Kay... so I tried making a conversation. "Uhm...sup?"

I wait for about 5 seconds until I try to start up another conversation

"sooo...how long you two been together?" I saw fish face blanch and saw a hint of annoyance from gramps.

Yet again, I waited. Nothing. Not even a random bird or a fart.

So to entertain myself, in a flash, my pistol appeared in my hand and I shot a random tree and set it on fire. Yep. Entertaining. I'm bored now.

Guess I'll take my leave. I think I left the bath running on my ship the Black Pearl.

"Well...you guys can take care of that right?" as I pointed at the evil tree I didn't like that I set on fire. I didn't like that tree. Not one bit. It looked at me wrong...*twitch*

I think I was kinda unaware of them since I set the evil tree on fire. Seeing as how I twitched and probably have an evil aura because of the evil tree,

I should look at their expressions. Right now. 5 more minutes. I like seeing that tree on fire. Stupid tree. Okay. Now I'll look at their face.

Fish face gave me a WTF face and gramps, once again, had that hint of annoyance. *sigh* what is it with old people and their problem with me setting random things on fire at random times? Geeze, I'm not crazy. I like to think of myself as...well to put it simply, insane.

Looking at my non-existent watch "uhh... well it was nice meeting you two...uhh...guess ill be goin noww..." I turned away to be face to face with gramps and his cup cake eyes.

I feel kinda tired...nahh, some coffee will fix me right up later. But seriously, gramps reminds me of a creeper.

"Uhm. Dude, can you move over so I can goooo? Stop staring at me. ...creeper..." I tried stepping around him.

Fail. Such a fail, it's not even epic. Wahhh. Gramps will pay for my not even epic fail. So I did what I usually do to creepy strangers.

The 'kick him in the place where the sun don't shine really hard to make sure he cant multiply then point and laugh at him evilly then run away screaming YOULL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE SUCKAH!' routine. Oh how I love that routine.

He didn't roll on the ground squealing like a Justin beaver fan girl, but he did fall to his knees with his eyes looking like they were about to burst outta his head! HA! REVENGE FEELS GOOD DON'T IT GRAMPS DON'T IT?

I was about to run up a tree and do my triangle to get to the black pearl but noooo. Fish face is here. "Wth man? What did I do?" I asked with my hands up.

I'll put on my cutest puppy face! That always does the trick! Or maybe I'll do a fish face? Nahh just stick with my original. Pissed off and ready to shoot if I want to.

"Listen little girl-"that's when I punch him out of the tree.

THAT'S IT! I draw the line with little girl! I'm friggen 18 for sally's sake!

I materialize my gun and aim it to paralyze fish face. "I AM NOT A LITTLE GIR-...did you just talk?" it had just occurred to me that neither gramps or fish face spoke to me until the second before I tried to paralyze his heart for a couple of months.

"Of course I spoke you crazy-"he was interrupted by gramps that looked like nothing happened, but I knew better.

It was hurting like heck on the inside. Ehh, it was probably withered and raisin-ee like since he's old anyway. "Stop kisame. You're coming with us."

Then he appeared behind me in a second and tied my hands with a rope. Where'd he get the rope? Probably in the weird bath robes they're wearing.

"We camp here for the night"

I was gonna protest and break the rope but then remembered I was tired. So I took this opportunity to drop dead onto the ground and get some sleep.

Seeing as how most of this chapter was mostly the random stuff going on in kou's head, im gonna make another chapter that will mostly get kou to the akatsuki and progress the story.

Read and review luvies!


	4. introducing: their creep dreams!

**Haaaay my bunn bunns. Missed me? Even if its been 4 minutes... oh and the romance kinda begins with this chapter!**

**Kou:...im tired! Cant I go to sleep?" **

**No. itachi, disclaimer plz. (always wnted to do tht)**

**Itachi: no.**

**Kou: who the snot is itachi? And whos names their kid weasel?**

**Kisame: uhhh hello!**

**Kou: hi. **

**Sigh...fine! ill do the disclaimor then! I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ITS CHARACTERS OR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBIAN OR ANYTHING ELSE OTHER THAN KOU!**

**Kou: u don't own me!**

**..yes I do. Now zippy missy.**

Akatsuki pov

The two members were getting out their water to drink when they turned their heads to their grinning hostage that then jumped an inch off the ground and landed with a thunk on the ground in a fetal position with her hands behind her back.

"Remind me, why did we capture the her again?" asked Kisame while rubbing a dark bruise given to him by said hostage. He continued to poke it until Itachi gave him an answer

"we captured her because she might be valuable. You saw her with that weapon. Also look at how she looks." They both let their heads wander off to the girl they had tied up.

Or thought they had tied up. Her arms were in front of her hugging a large rock with a peaceful face.

Kisame was about to get up and tie her up again until Itachi shook his head no. Kisame continued to look at her.

Her hair was long and looked to be all the way to her thighs even in what looked like a messy high pony tail. The hair was raven black but the ends of the locks were silver, thus making her bangs look sliver that covered most of her face but not the facial features.

She had shiny reflective hair pins clipping most of the silver hair from her eyes. Her skin was creamy looking and pale.

He couldn't see much else under her thick clothes.

She had a strange ragged hat on her head that looked like it had been ripped at the edges, burned, and even blood stains were on it and there was a shining x on the side. She wore a long thin brown coat that went below her knees and looked as if it had been through as much as the hat.

The coat had no sleeves that looked as though they were burnt off; showing the pale skin with long gloves the stopped at her wrist and had the torn glove covering her palm and figures. Kisame could see the right arm had no arm glove but was covered with loose bandages to the wrist but no glove.

She wore short ragged pants but there were loose bandages from under them to her thighs and disappeared below her black boots that went over the knee with silver buckles on it and a black ribbon tied over the bandages on the thigh, on her neck, and her upper arm.

The shirt was hidden underneath the coat that she had only the ribbon on it tied hiding the top of her.

Kisame then started thinking about how _that _had given him such a large bruise and so quickly knee Itachi in the-

"We need to get some rest."

And with that, the three were asleep with one dreaming of a certain mystery girl, one dreaming of nothing, and one dreaming of flying monkey ponies.

**I ****still don't think I get very far with this story. SO I WILL MAKE ANOTHER ONE!**

**Kou: don't you have a boy friends to call or something?**

**Jst for your information COW I am living the single life right now getting ready for school. Hmph.**

**Kou: touch-e**

**Read and review!**


	5. introducing: Carrot Juice and MrsYeah!

**Haaaaaaayyy. I was jst eating some...stuff**

**Kou: that sounds kinda kinky.**

**Oh hush up kou. **

**Kou: but tiz ture!**

**You mean true?**

**Kou: no. ture.**

**Uhmm...okay...kisame!**

**Kisame: what?**

**DISCLAIMOR!...or else you don't get to kiss kou...**

**Kou: WHAT? D:**

**Kisame: WHAT? :D**

**Kou: don't you dare smile you freakin-**

**I DO NOT OWN NARUTO OR ANYTHING EXCEPT KOU NOW GO READ BEFORE THINGS GET UGLY**

Kou pov

Sighhh... that was a good sleep considering the fact I was hugging a rock...on the ground...where am I? Oh yea!

Mr. creepy stalker dude with no ballz...oh yea! I wonder how gramps's are doin... I should go ask.

I brought my head up felt my lips brush something that felt weird like ...beach sand? Smelled weird too like shrimp. Wait...beach...shrimp...OH MY GIZZLE MONKEYS...

I shot open my eyes and saw fish face's face was...wtf, purple? Ohh...red +blue=purple...

I jumped 10 feet away from him and my precious rock "WUT THE SNOT FISH FACE?" I accused pointing in his direction in a position ready to kill someone.

Then fish face got out this huge weird looking sword from his back and this giant tidal wave appeared outta no where. I brought out my trusty gun and grinned a maniacal grin before the gun morphed into a silver whip. It got longer as I swung it above my head and started a tornado within a second then threw my tornado fish face.

"WHY THE HECK DID YOU TRY TO FREAKING DROWN ME WITH NON-EXSISTENT WATER?" he looked purple again.

As he stuttered while doing a poor attempt of drying himself off from my little natural disaster "I-I-IT-UHM-YOU-FACE-YOU...ITACHI!"

I gave him a wtf face. Who the snot names their kid weasel?

That's when gramps appeared out of who knows where next to fish face holding two canisters of what I'm guessing is water. If its milk, then they better share. "What happened?"

I ran over to gramps the latched onto his leg and sat on his foot. "What happened?" he said like a robot while glaring daggers at me. I stuck my tongue at him then started talking

"Fish face over there tried to kill me!" while having such a tight grip on his leg, I think I cut off the blood circulation. "Kisame?" gramps asked. Now I know their names. Weasel and kisame.

Hmm...Nah. I like fish face and gramps better.

"She started it! She kissed me on the cheek!" thank goodness it was the cheek...if I had fully kissed fish face, then I probably would have taken I suicide mission on treasure planet. That reminds me...

I started talking when fish faces finally stopped ranting about...purple hippos?

"Hey gramps and fish face?" they both glared at me but waited for me to speak. "Uhm I was wondering, what planet is this?"

They both looked at me as if I had escaped a mental hospital. Wait, bad example. I have escaped a mental hospital on this quest for someone...but that's another story. "Well? What planet is thiiii...ohh..." I forgot...some planets don't know of other planet life...whoops. "That's it Itachi. I think she's mental. Do we still need her?"

gramps seemed like he didn't even hear fish face till he finally stated "we'll consult leader-sama." Then we walked on in total silence with me still latched onto his leg.

**Skip silent walk to akatsuki base with Kou still on Itachi's leg**

What an awkward walk...heck I even fell asleep on gramps's leg while he was still walking.

In the distance I could see a big rock a couple of miles away. I hopped off of gramps's leg and ran over to it.

I knocked on it and said "hellllllooo?" no answer. I knocked louder and the boulder started to crack. "hheeeeeeelllllllooooooo?" no answer.

That's when I materialized my gun aimed it at the boulder and caught the giant rock on fire. Which reminds me...did we ever put out that evil tree? Oh well. I'll worry about it later.

Right now is the evil rock that I don't like right now.

I was pondering on how it was possible to set a rock on fire when I heard this voice behind the rock. "What the heck un?" what's with the un?

That's when I saw fish face catch up to me then yelled "What the heck?" then came the voice from behind the rock "Exactly yeah!" does this guy have a speech impediment?

"KATSU" *BOOOOOOOOM* "hey kisame un! Wheres Itachi yeah?" theres my answer. A big explosion of flaming rocks and pebbles and what I think is a guy that looks like a girl. That when I decided to ask.

"why is your hest so flat?" after that little comment, Mrs. Yeah (yep. Mrs. Yeah) had a blush on his/her face. Fish face started laughing as gramps walked up the hill.

"We have to report to leader-sama now." I was lead into the secret agent hide out when I looked back behind Mrs. yeah; I saw a new giant boulder materialize in front of the entrance.

"damn it all... stupid rock..." I mumbled but it seems that Mrs. Yeah, fish face and gramps heard as fish face stifled a laugh and was trying (and failing) to hide a grin. Gramps remained stoic as ever. That's my gramps.

So they lead me through twisty and turny halls until we reached this door. Gramps knocked and heard a dark voice "enter" that when I exclaimed

"cool! I wanna do it too!" so jumped inside the open door then shut it in their faces. They tried opening the door but I held it down. "Open the door!" I heard fish face say.

"You have to knock first!" then all was quiet. There came a soft knock. I practiced my deep voice then said "ENTER!" apparently my dark voice was to evil.

There was a Mrs. Yeah with a terrified face and fish face and his wide beady eyes. Gramps was all gramps like but I could tell his muscles tensed up.

You shoulda seen their faces! They were priceless! I laughed evilly in their faces the heard a cough from behind me.

I turned around and saw this guy witch orange spiky hair, grey eyes and waaay to many piercings. In my mind I was having a little ceremony.

I now declare you as, carrot juice, leader of the creepers who have matching bath robes and hats.

I skipped over to the guy and leaned in close to his face. I stared at it for a moment before I backed away a little. "hey carrot juice, do those things hurt?"

When I was close up to him I could see his eyes widen a fraction before returning to normal and looking at me up and down. The creeper.

Now I get it! He's the leader of the creepers! Of course he'd be a creeper! I had a maniacal grin on my face my face turned into that of glee and patted myself on the back.

When I remembered there were creepers present, I looked at their faces. Mrs. Yeah and fish face had the same expression of WTF?

Then there was gramps and carrot juice, whose expression was ...uhh...creepy? They were staring at me up and down with their creeper eyes of creeper-ness...ewww.

"well...if you guys are just gonna stand there all day, then I'm goin back." I made the triangle with my hands that started to glow and yellow-ish white-ish light inside the triangle.

I was about to blow into it until...geeeze 3rd time this week I was interrupted when trying to get back to the black pearl. Now im really sure I left the bath running.

Carrot juice was behind me in a flash but I was faster. I was then facing him 3feet from where I was not even 1 second ago. "Well...uhm...okay. If you wanted me to do something, you should have said something carrot juice."

To my surprise he actually replied. Politely. "Yes. Im sorry for that. Please join us in the meeting room. "

I thought about it...go with the creeper leader into the meeting room where im probably gonna see more creepers that will be creepy orrrrr go home right now and erase their memories of me...

"okay!" remember? Im not right in the head. He lead me to the meeting room through the twisty turny halls with the others following. So we walked into their meeting room.

Some how, they were all sittin on these fingers that belonged to giant hands. So went and sat down in the middle on the palm thinking about what flavor Italian is...

I barely caught what carrot juice was saying until I noticed the other fingers were occupied by other creepers. "Everyone, meet the new akatsuki member."

Oh cool...new akki cat members... wait what?

**Howd yall like it? Gawsh 4 chappies already done in one day. *whooo***

**Kou: im proud of ya fro yo.**

**Thankies kou. How bout you guys?**

**Itachi:hn**

**Oh gawd not now Itachi. Now the 'hn's**

**Kisame: why the hell am I fish face?**

**Stop complaingin kisame, or ill exchange you and Itachi with deidara and sasori.**

**Kisame: sasori's dead idiot.**

**I know but im planning on using his ghost...oops! readers aren't supposed to see that! Stop! Don't read this!**

**Kisame:you're an idiot.**

**And your part fish;why? No one will ever know.**

**Kisame:hey! Wut the fu-**

**Your taking up 4 dialogue areas! Shut up! How bout yuu pein?**

**Pein:...**

**...okay...kou you can have pein's dialogue area.**

**Kou: hmm..kay! wait...whos pein?**

**Srry kou no offence but im too tired to type or explain anymore so...bye!**

**Read &review!**


	6. introducing: Uber Creeper!

**Hhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyay I teally would like 2 rhank GrimyRayne, Fushia Flame and Innocent-Psycho for favoriting this! You cannot belive the smile on my face!**

**This is gonna be short cuz I wanna get the awesome stuff 4 nxt chappie**

**Kou: yeah! And thx 4 Innocent-Psycho 4 saying she liked me! Hear that fish face? She likes me more!**

**Kisame: I don't even know the person!**

**Kou: that's no excuse! Now drop and give me twenty!**

**Kisame:wuhhht?**

**Pein: I suggest you do as she says... theres a black energy coming from her and its not chakra.**

**Kou: *twitch***

**Uhmm I don't own naruto or any of its characters! Now calm down kou!**

**Kou: NEVAH!**

**Sigh...enjoy!**

Akatsuki pov

"Everyone, meet the new akatsuki member.

The members all looked down to see the new member that looked like she was thinking of something very hard until she had a questioning gaze at everyone in the room.

It was female that looked 15 or 16. She wore a ragged hat, coat, boots and the bandages covering her thighs and right arm while the left arm had a long glove that she surprisingly pulled of as hot and cute.

They inspected her face. Pale white but the eyes were the most striking. One of the eyes was a deep pure liquid silver color while the other was a mystic but clouded honey.

They were also curious of the silver ends of her black hair.

The akatsuki looked back to their leader. He opened his mouth to say something but the new member raised her hand like a student in the academy.

He looked at her and slightly nodded his head in her direction. But she still had her hand up with the expression of that having to pee really badly. The leader nodded his head again only with a bit more force. She still was raising her hand.

"Yesss?" he seemed irritated at the end of the one word. "What's the akki cat sookey?"

Kou pov

It was just one question! Next thing I know, this plant dude with probably a really bad skin condition because it was black and white, came behind me and held my arms.

"What the snotberry? Let go creeper!" I had managed to get out of his strong grip and materialize my gun.

But this time, I'm using my twin shots, baby. Oh yeah, stuff is goin down. So I held a silver gun to his head and a black obsidian gun to ... everyone else since they had jumped down from the finger thingies.

"Ya really think that's gonna work huh little girl?" this came from a guy with white slicked back hair wearing the black with red puffy's bathrobe but no shirt underneath. Must be an uber creeper. "What...did you...saaaaaaayyy?" I unintentionally used my sickeningly sugary sweet voice.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw fish face and gramps back away, probably knowing what's good for them.

"I said, ya reeaalllyyy think thaats goona wooork? Liiittttlle giiirrrrlllll?" he said the words as if I was an idiot! That's it uber creeper! U iz goin down!

I slowly looked him in the eye from the shadow of my hat. In a flash, I was in front of him gripping his bath robe down so I could press my forehead against his and say "you wanna say sorry to me?"

I could tell my honey eye was getting clearer and my silver clouding as I was thinking of all the things I could do to end his life. Hmm...but what should I get for ending his life? For all I know he could save puppies from drowning and be a unicorn in disguise!

"Make me, bitch" I had noticed he lost a chunk of confidence in his voice but he still dared to challenge me? I noticed the big scythe on his back... ill take that when I end him.

I looked him in his purple-ish eyes and said with my signature maniac smile,

"Don't worry sweetie. _I will"_

_**Aaaaand cut!**_** Howd ya like it? Epic fight is in...8 yrs! Ha if I fooled you then I am awsome**

**Kou: sweet! Im gonna kick uber creeper's azz!**

**Hidan: what the hell? Why did I sound scared? F*****

**Kou: hey! Watch your mouth *****

**Hidan and kou: ** # $$*# !(&# (!(U# #OHUre83y43#*EY#*E***

**...well I jst learned some interesting things about dogs...**

**Read & review!**


	7. introducing: Uber Creeper's severed head

**Hello my baby moonz! ...i don't even know what the hat heck a baby moon iz, but...its cute? I guses?**

**Kou: ure grammar sux**

**And so does my not having a unicorn, BUT YUU DON'T HEAR ME COMPLAINING DO YA?**

**Kou: *sigh* wut evah gurll**

**Never do that again. Pls.**

**Kou: can I do it to the creeper club?**

**Sure.**

**Akatsuki:...**

**Pein: the creeper club?**

**Kou: the creeper club.**

**Kisame: the creeper club?**

**The creeper club! :D**

**Itachi: hn**

**...**

**And now a gay baby is born...i do not own naruto or the akatsuki or anything cept kou! **

**Kou: I think they know that**

**And if they don't?**

**Kou: then they shall smell my client's foot.**

Third person pov

The akatsuki watched in a some what shocked feling that the little girl {cue kou twitch} with such an innocent face before, was now threatening the loud mouth s-class criminal jashinist without a trace of fear.

They also observed how her eyes changed. The silver left eye dulling in its shine and the right honey gleaming from its clouded state.

Kou let go of hidan's cloak as she jumped backwards 10 feet away to aim a gleaming silver gun with a thorned vine wrapped around it in a spiral manner, before disappearing behind kou's left gloved arm with a glowing rose impression under the black glove of the roof of her hand.

The moment her boots touched the ground she said something in a whisper that barely had any sound " _thorn shot"_ then hidan, who already had his triple bladed sythe out, was taken by surprise as a black vine with dark purple thorns dripping something deadly was already in front of his face. "What the hell?" he gasped

It was less than a centimeter away from his face before he slahed at it with his blade, making the vine turn limp looking and fall to the ground, dissolving into the floor leaving an ink black impression of itself.

Hidan quickly looked at the source of where the thing came from. He got a fleeting glance of two other black vines with dripping purple thorns coming from the shining pistol that kou was holding with a bored look.

He now was held upside down by his ankles as the thorned vines holding him were pierced into his flesh. his expression was tight and pained "damnit!"

He saw the impression of the vine he cut earilier on the floor crawiling upwards toward him as he struggled free to get his sythe that now laid on the ground right below his head.

The black vine crawing towards him now came out of the ground and now is slinkning its way up on hidan like a snake and stopped at where it met the other vines holding him upside down and dissolved into his skin and the rest under his cloak while the end of it that came out of the barrel of kou's gun, now wrapped itself around hidan's mouth from screaming anything more.

The ends of the other two vines slithered out of the barrel of the gun and wrapped the rest on the flesh of his arms.

So now Hidan's position is now upside down with a tattoo looking ink vine on his neck going down his visable chest, under the cloak down the legs, and ending at the vines that held him wrapped around the ankles, but since they let go of kou's gun, suspended Hidan in mid air.

Kou slowly strolled up to hidan and asked in her sickengly sweet voice she used to threaten him "_you wanna apologize __**now?"**_

the black tattoo like vine unraveled itself from hidan's mouth. Ounce it was off his bottom lip, " never in atthousand years, whore" then he smirked and spat at the ground.

It didn't take long for kou's now very dull silver left eye to form itself into a deep midnight blue .

In a quick second, there appeared a spiral in the blue eye that made it look like the eye of a tornado.

Hidan didn't even have a second to look at it before he became entranced and said in a loud voice so everbody in the whole room heard "**I apologize**" kou's eye turned back to the dull silver but still had the intent to kill.

"not good enough" kou said in a monotone voice.

Before anyone knew what happened, even with their ninja eyes, kou was now holding a large needle like thing across her chest that was thinner than a thread and made of so clear glass some couldn't even see it in her grasp.

When they returned their attention to Hidan, he was now slid into 3 giant chunks: top, belly and bottom and a tiny chunk that is identified as Hidan's head.

After a moment of scilence, "WHAT THE FU** WAS THAT BITCH?" the akatsuki members were brought back from their trance by Hidan's out burst, looking over at kou's expression.

She didn't look very impressed or surprised, but the aloof expression theyd seen her with before zetsu ever grabbed her they thought as she picked up the forgotten sythe of Hidan's before she muttered something about 'low quality' and ' looks likes the ones jashinists use' and dropped it back on the ground.

"ohhhh! That explains it! It's a jashinist!" she exclaimed as she picked up Hidan's discarded head by the hair and started to poke it.

"hey! Watch it whore!" Hidan screamed in her face. "watch it yourself uber creeper! Take a breath mint or something."

kou brought her free hand into her jacket and brought out a small white ball.

"what the fu** is that bitch? You gonna poisoin me or something? Cause it won't damn work-" Hidan was about to lecture about the gifts of jashin until kou interrupted

"relax relax Uber Creeper. It's a friggen tic tac." And she popped it into hidans never closing mouth. She held hidans jaw closed as he unwillingly chewed it.

"hmm...give me more bitch!" kou waved a finger in his face "nuh uh uh. Because what you did was a major pain in the butt."

Some of the members looked at her in respect.

" Do you know how many rocks I could've set on fire during the time I had to behead you? Oh the possibilities!" well, there goes their respect.

that's when the akatsuki members got that sweat drop on the back of their heads. After yet another awkaward scilence,

" Well, if you don't mind me, ive got somewhere to be my luvies... " when she stepped back and turned around, she now met the hard chest of deidara or Mrs. Yeah

"where do you think your goin un?" before long, she was surrounded by all of the akatsuki, minus hidan since hes...ya know of no use of a body

. Kou turned around with the pure liquid silver eye again but the honey not completey dull, but had a certain spark in it.

"oooh. This is gonna be_ fun_."

**Did ya like it hun bunns?**

**Kou: I liked it.**

**Pein:...**

**Itachi:hn**

**Kisame: uhh... **

**Deidara:...yeah...**

**Hidan: ...WHY THE HELL DID I LOSE TO THE FEMALE MIDGET?**

**Kou: IM NOT A FRIKKEN MIDGET, JACK WEED!**

**Hidan and Kou: !^#!*&%()*^&$%#!$*^&%^$^%#!&()(&&*^$#**

**...interesting...**

**Read&review!**


	8. introducing: Puberty Creeper!

**Hello swat monsterz! Again, I don't know what iit is, but sounds cute.**

**Kou:no it doesn't.**

**Yesh it does.**

**Kou: raise your hands if you think it doesnt sounds cute.**

***everyone raises hands**

**Is you keep raising your hand, you will get your azz kicked by kou.**

***everyone cept kou puts down hand**

**That's more like it.**

**I doesn't own naruto or its characters (oh gawd giant moth flew into my face) but I own kou.**

**Kou: yuu do not own me.**

**Uhhhmm... I think I do hun.**

**Kou:...fine**

**Enjoy!**

Third person pov

Kou grinned her insane grin, showing off a canine tooth that remarkably resembled a fang before pulling out the glass thread like sword she used earlier out of thin air.

Zetsu submerged behind her and tried to grab her arms, but she swung her sword above her head, cutting off the top of the venus fly trap head and leaving Zetsu unconscious behind her on the ground.

Kisame was about to use Same-hada to cut her in half, but Kou jumped over his head backwards. She landed gracefully on the ground as she cut kisame's fore arm off, leading to him on the floor as Zetsu did.

Deidara started forming clay birds as he threw some in Kou's direction. "KATSU" is what he said as they exploded and caused a thick screen of smoke.

,Deidara couldn't see anything until the smoke immediately cleared up and Kou being behind him, cutting off his right hand., ending Deidara the same fate as Kisame and Zetsu.

Kakuzu's thread came at her from all angles, until she disappeared and was an inch away from his face till she cut of Kakuzu's left hand making him faint into unconsciousness like Deidara, Zetsu, Kisame and now Konan

as she threw several paper shuriken at Kou, but she amazingly jumped and was a blur as she stepped on the paper shuriken still in motion flying to where she used to be.

Kou stood in front of Konan's face before slashing her leg. Kou let her weapon disappear before turning to face the three people behind her. She examined their faces as if nothing even happened.

"Hey!" she exclaimed "what's with the mask? You got a pimple or something?" Tobi, or Madara as of now, chuckled a bit before saying a deep voice "hm... you've got great promise. Would you like to join the akatsuki?"

Kou pov

I thought I was about to pull all my hair out when I heard that!

"WHAT THE SNOT IS THE AKKI CAT SOOKI? IS IT LIKE A CREEPERS CLUB OR SOMETHING?" I screeched using my awesome Kou flair.

I think I saw a mini anime sweat drop go down the back of their heads before Puberty Creeper (woot nick name time!) said something in that creepy deep voice of his

"no. the akatsuki is most certainly _not_ a creeper club of some sort. It is an organization who will make the world a better place by recruiting those with skill, such as yourself. So would you like to join?" The way he said not was dripping in venom.

Hmm...lets see here... option one: escape here and go back to the black pearl, which I am certain I left the bath running on, or option two: join the creeper club with all those creeper members who tried to kill me with their creeperness...i choose...neither!

"hmm...sorry but Puberty Creeper, I cant. I have things to do, places to be. And joining a creeper club isn't part of plans." I said with my wonderful awesomeness. Then there something in the hole of his spirally mask thingy...hm...hay! It looks like gramps's cupcake eyes!

He started speaking "I'm afraid you have no choice but to join us." I tilted my head a little to the side in confusion "now why is that?"

He took a step closer that limited the already small distance between me and Carrot juice, Gramps and Puberty creeper. "Because, we will destroy all you hold dear. Friends, family...everything."

I looked at him for a second...he's bluffing right? Is he seriously serious about this?

"...HA! WUAHAHAAA! HA! OH GEEZE! YOUR SERIOUS AENT YOU! HA!" he took another step forward as I was clutching my stomach.

"And why wouldn't be serious?" ...oh GAWD! HA!

"BEACAUSE my Dear!" I'm still recovering...whoo... "I have no friends. I have no family! Ha! I don't hold ANYTHING dear, my luvie! Ha!"

Puberty creeper took another step forward. "And im guessing you want revenge on whoever killed them? the akatsuki can give you that pleasure." I stared at him wide eyed before laughing manically again. Mann! Just when I recovered too!

"BUAHAA! OH geeze! You guessed soooo wrong! _I_ killed _them" _I immediately stopped my laughing fit as soon as I had a thought about those _things_ thatwere near me when I grew up. I felt the glint return to my cloud honey eye and my silver darkening a bit.

I took a step forward to continue. Now the distance between us I practically a centimeter.

"_so I will take my leave, if you don't mind" _I whispered as I was instantly behind him walking towards the opening of where I entered this creepy place with giant hands and...ick.

I materialized my silver whip and used it to wrap around Puberty creeper as he attempted to capture me. I saw Gramps and Carrot juice move out of the corner of my eye. "Don't. If you move one more muscle,

_he's dead."_

**Oooooohhh cliffly (or I atleast tried to make a cliff hanger)**

**Kou: I am so awesome**

**Madara: why am I so defensless?**

**Don't worry maddy. You have a trick up your sleeve.**

**Read and review!**


	9. introducing: Maddy and Zuzu!

Hhhhhaaaaaaaaaayyyy my buny wunnies.

Kou: so is this where I get to kick pubery creeper's azz ?

Yes it iz sweetie.

Kou: yaaaaay!

And for your cuteness, you get a lollipop!

Kou:yuunyy!

Tobi: tobi wants one!

No. but madara might be able to get one.

Madara: may I have a lollipop *sharigan*

No. you cant have one.

I do not own naruto or the akatsuki or anything cept my dear little *kou twitch* kou! I wasn't gonna say girl little backwards!

kou: you better not.

Enjoy dearies!

Third person pov

Pein and Itachi stood still in an attacking position but did nothing.

Kou's eyes now showed a topaz eye and a gray led eye as she stood with her arms crossed, her right hand holding Madara upside down in mid-air like the vines did with Hidan, who was knocked out earlier. Madara showed no sign of moving, but was wracking his brain for a plan.

'**Why didn't my sharingan work before? I have no other choice.' **Kou was staring into the eye hole of his mask. There appeared his red sharingan. Kou started wobbling around then was bending over clutching her head.

'**Why did it work this time?'** Madara thought as he walked over to her since her whip disappeared thus losing the grip on him.

He deactivated the sharingan, but Kou was still on the ground clutching her head and whimpering. "What a pathetic little girl." He sneered before lifting his foot to kick her in the side.

In a flash, he was in the air again but the only difference was that his mask was on the floor. Kou was looking at him with less than a millimeter away from his face before inaudibly whispering

"_apologize_"

Madara was activating his mangekyo sharingan as Itachi and Pein was forced to the ground by ink black vines connecting to the stone ground coming from Kou's shadow.

The mangekyo sharingan was met with the midnight blue eye in the tornado spiral. That's when Madara's and Kou's heads jerked back as if something punched them and they both fell to the ground unconscious.

The vine shadows quickly crawled back to Kou's body as Itachi and Pein got up and walked over to the two. "What do we do with her now, leader-sama?" the Uchiha asked.

"tie her up in chakra ropes for now. Then we need to awaken Madara." And they did just that, as they waited for the other members to reawaken after they did their best to heal them. They left Kou tied up in an empty room somewhere in the base, where she had a strange dream of talking ice cream and dancing leprechauns.

Kou pov

Ugh...i have a killer headache... wtf happened? Oh yeah... Puberty creeper...where have I seen him before?

I was kinda hoping I could keep the mask when I ripped it off his head...hmm...UGH!

Damn! Stupid head trauma! Stupid Puberty creeper! Stupid tree! Stupid giant rock!...I gotta kill that stupid rock some time...

I moved to get up from this small wooden chair, but failed. But I failed epically this time! I think. I got up, but fell down on my face and the chair I was some what tied up to, now tipped over with me still sitting on it. Great.

I tried pulling my hands free as a little test. Hmm... Weird. This material reminds me of the time I went to... oh gawd. So that's where I met Puberty creeper! ...No...no...no noo no...

***FLASH BACK***

_Kou was on the training grounds watching from under the shade of a tree as Madara and Izuna sparred. It has been already hours since the two started, and now it was sun down. _

_Kou got up from her spot and started walk away towards the village. Madara and Izuna immediately stopped when they saw their mystery audience had stopped watching and walked away. They didn't know who she was or what she was doing here, but they like to show off their skills._

_The two went over to Kou, Izuna on her right and Madara on her left. "Hey. We saw you watching us train. You're not very good at concealing your chakra if you were trying to spy on us you know." Izuna stated as he wiped some sweat off his forehead. _

_Kou stopped and looked at the two. "What's chakra?" she had asked. The two were surprised. Even average civilians knew what chakra was! Now that the two thought about it, they never really saw her face around Konoha at all. "Do you come from this village?" asked the young Madara. _

"_This is a village? Cool! Can you show me around? I need to kill some time." the Uchihas were confused as to what she was talking about, but showed her the entire village within a full 24 hour day and night. Along the way, they learned each other's name and age._

_Kou was nine, Izuna was ten and Madara was ten. When the sun was coming up, "Sorry, but it's been fun getting to know you guys" Kou said with a small smile._

_The brothers looked at each other before Madara asked "what are you sorry for? Plus, we can see each other tomorrow right?" Kou shook her head a little 'no' before adding "I gotta go. But I'll try and visit some more alright?" The two didn't have time to respond before Kou pecked both of them on the lips and pulled back, winking while sticking her tongue out._

_She turned to leave but Madara asked something since he was the first to recover, but still blushing and stuttering, "You promise youll try to visit more?" Kou stiffened before she turned her head to give a fleeting glance at them before she said in a small whisper "I promise" and she disappeared before either brothers could calculate what she just said._

Man! And it was such a dramatic good bye too! I wonder how Zuzu (Izuna) is doing... oh geeze...Puberty creeper is Maddy.

I should probably break these chakra ropes... so I materialized my silver dagger, and easily cut the ropes. I got up and was about to form my triangle to get to the black pearl, once again, I was friggen interrupted! Geeze! Now I am rreeeaalllllllyy sure I left the bath running.

The door opened to reveal Puberty creeper, Carrot juice and Gramps. I was in the middle of the room standing up straight. When I saw Puberty creeper walk in, I immediately did what I was always kinda dreaming to do dramatically if I ever got the chance. I put on my maniac grin and did my awesome Kou voice

"Hey Maddy! Hows Zuzu?"

**And there. Happy?**

**Kou: im EXTREMELY happy.**

**Thankie kou. You guyz?**

**...**

**Oh yeah...most of them are unconscious...**

**Read and review!**


	10. introducing: Dude with bad skin dude!

**I am so awesome. 3 chapies in one day!**

**Kou: nice fro yo. Nice.**

**Tanks kous**

**Uhmmm no one is conscious yet so…**

**I don't own naruto cept kou**

**Kou: im too lazy too say anything so il do it for fro yo. Enjoy!**

Third person pov

When Madara heard his old nickname only used for one day, his eyes widened at the sound. In the dimly lighted room, he examined Kou more closely.

The different eyes, the raven hair, the silver ends...'**no... It cant be!**' he strolled over to her in his orange spiral mask and stood looking down at her a bit, since he was taller than her.

Kou gave him a curious look before asking in her innocent voice "what's wrong Maddy?" He cringed at how familiar her voice sounded now. "Itachi, Pein. Leave." The two did as they were told and left the old friends together in the room.

Madara slowly took off his mask as he looked at her in amazement.

Kou pov.

What's up with Maddy? Now that I think about it...hmm...I was 9 when I met him...and right now he looks like a twenty something dude...according to my kick ass math skills...wait, he should be over 200! When I got my answer, I returned the amazed look he gave me.

That's when I smiled a big smile and wrapped my arms around him. "Maddy! I missed you!" I said into his black with red puffies bath robe. Hmm... much softer than it looks.

He laughed a little before I let go to look at him. "Uhm... Maddy? How old are you now?" I asked. His face grew serious and a little tired as he replied "do I have to tell you?" in a whiny voice. Hm. That's new. When we were together with Izuna that one day, he was so serious.

I tilted my head at him before saying "you've changed. What happened?" he looked somewhat reluctant to reply. He opened his mouth but then I did my awesome kou-iness. "Oooh! Do unicorns exsist here? Do they, do they, do they? Huh, huh, huh?" the thought of my own unicorn made me feel...AWESOME! I don't know what I would do with it, but it would be interesting. Or something like that.

Then Maddy did that stupid smirk he always did. "Sadly no Kou-chan." Before anything came out of my mouth again, he answered with "no, there aren't any mutant doggies either." He also quickly added "or radioactive robots...whatever those are..." I mad a pouty face.

That's when I remembered something. "Oh yea! So, can I go now? I think I left the bath running." His mouth turned down into a frown (hey that rhymes!) "No. you have to stay here." That's when he slipped the mask back on and left the room, but not before asking "oh. And I expect you to tell me where you went, all those years ago." And he shut the door. There was a click sound, signaling he locked the it.

But that door will not stop me! For I am epic! So in the moment, I charged forward at the door. But sadly, my epic-ness is so over whelming, it busted out of my body before I hit the door, thus making a loud thunk and me ending with my butt on the ground rubbing my poor head.

I tried pushing it. Nothing. I tried pulling it. Nothing. I tried begging it. Nothing. I tried punching it. Nothing. That's when I got pissed off and aimed my trusty shining gun at it. "Any last words, stupid door?" I asked in a western voice. "nothing ehh? Well here ya go!"

So I was about to pull the trigger to set it on fire until the door opened up with a scared shitless Mrs. Yeah. "Don't kill me un!" he screamed before he ran down the hall, leaving the door open behind him. "humph. That otta teach him to mess with me." I muttered be for walking down the hall Mrs. Yeah ran down to.

Huh. Pretty nice place for a cave... and I've been to multiple caves in my short years of 18. I was walking until I passed this dude with short red hair.

Huh...short red hair... short red hair...short...red...hair...SHORT RED HAIR

! I walked backwards to where I saw the dude. I went over to him walking in the halls. He stopped and slowly turned around. Huh. Brown eyes and wearing a creeper bath robe. When he saw me, his eyes widened as I walked closer to him.

"you...can see me?" he asked. Is he playing invisible guy or something? Cause I wanna play too! "Welll duh. Wait a waffley second...are you Sasori? From the red sand?" he nodded slowly still eyeing me.

"SAZZY!" I threw my arms around him in a hug. He felt so...cold and hard. I looked up at him "Kou?" he asked. But then another creeper member walked past me. Then paused and turned back to me.

'

"You." This guy has some freaky looking eyes. "Me." Hmm... Oh! This is the guy who I chopped his left hand off! He looks like Frankenstein...aha! I shall dub you Stitchy!

"You're the reason why I had to waste me time on stitching up practically the whole akatsuki!" he accused.

I wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying cause I was staring at his mouth. I was trying to see if I could shoot lasers at it and make a smiley face. Sadly, all that happened was that my eyes seriously hurt like hall right now. Stupid laser visions... oh wait. Uhh... oh yeah! I was gonna ask something...

I waited patiently for Stitchy to finish talking about...uhh...chinese crackers? "Hey Stitchy?" he looked over at me with a deep glare. Geeze, moody much?

"Wheres the shower?" hey, I'm a kick ass pirate, but I wanna be clean too ya know. Now that I think about... I noticed Gramps had smelled like fish before, so I'm guessing the smell will rub off on me. I don't want fishy smell woman! Especially from Fish face. Ick, the scent of shrimp. Not yummy cooked, bread crumb covered shrimp. Like raw out in the ocean shrimp. Icky.

Stitchy gave me a weird look of him questioning my sanity. "Down the hall behind you." He stated before walking off grumbling about something. I think it was about how he was gonna murder me in my sleep if I mess up the bath room, or something like that. So I went into the direction he told me to go in but the stopped abruptubly. Where's Sazzy? Meh, I'll track him down later. As of now... bathy timey!

I opened up the wood door leading to this kick ass bath room! It was huge and crystal clean and white and woah. Just woah. Don't get me wrong, I've been to a lot of bath rooms in caves, and they haven't really been the most sanitary, wink, wink nudge, nudge. Wow, that was really creeper like...

Anyway, I first took off my trust captain hat. Oh haven't I ever told you my story of this wonderful pirate hat? Ahh... the memories... next, I took off my awesome large long coat that went down below my knees. Ya know what? No matter what, the bottom of it will never accidentally touch the ground and get dirty. All the rips and tears are from... Quests you could say.

My top was still pretty clean since I tied the ribbon of my coat. But, wut'ev. It still smelled like...shirt? So I stripped off the rest of my clothes and laid it beneath my coat.

I have a little bag that I keep literally, everything in. I got it from a client who's a wizard a place called...i think it was called, Hogmarts? Hogwarts? Its bottomless and its really useful to me. I always keep it tucked inside my jacket, and it will always return to me if I lose it or something. So I hid it under my jacket with my clothes and told it to stay. It whimpered before it stay put.

I got my fluffy towel and new change of clothes of it. I've been told that I have good fashion and can pull a lot of stuff off, whatever that means. I don't really arrange how my clothes look. I just get them randomly. Heck, I could be in frost planet and be wearing a tang top and shorts! Course, I don't wear that, but you get my point.

So I went into one of the many large pearl white bath tubs, and turned the cold water on. Ahh...good ole ice cold water... I don't like the 'equal'-ness of warm. I either like it boiling hot, or icey cold. So when I finished my lovely bath with my own soap I keep in my bag and my dirty clothes in it too, I got out and put on my clothes then threw on my large jacket but left it open this time, put on my long glove, wrap up my bandages and black ribbons, put on my boots and hat then onwards I go!

My jacket doesn't ever stink really nor do my boot or hat. My friend at Hogwarts did this spell on them that they will always stay nice and clean, save for my battle damage that they went through. So I walked out with my small black leather sac inside my loose coat and went forwards while singing Shalala by Hotaro no Hikari. Sigh, one of my favorite songs.

"you have a wonderful voice." Woah! Where'd he come from? There's this half black and half white guy with a venus fliy trap head. Wait...oh! I cut off part of his head earlier...i hope he doesn't remember that. "**don't compliment her! She cut of part of out body!" **woah, pms-ing much?

"uhhh...thanks dude that looks like he has a really bad skin disease!" wait...what did I cut off of him?...aha! his weird looking venus flytrap hair! Wait... that was part of his body? Whoopsey monkeys. (nick name time) Dude with bad skin dude started to stare at me. The creeper... oh yeayerz!

I should go meet up with Maddy or even Gramps! Now that I think about, it's better if I first find Gramps. I forgot Dude with bad skin dude was still here.

"Soo...could you take me to ...weasel?" I forgot his real name. Whoops. "**why should we bitch?** Don't talk like that to a fellow member!** She's not an official member is she now?" **he continued to have an argument as a slipped out. "well...thanks for the infooo...bye" and I went forward down these crazeh azz halls. Geeze, what kind of cave is this anyway?

I was starting to wonder if they had cable until I bumped into ...MR. BOOBALOO!... ha! Got ya didn't i? Wow, I'm playing a joke on my own mind...i am...so awesome. Oh yea, Gramos. "Heyya Gramps! Miss me?" I grinned before I latched on to his leg.

He looked down at me. "I'm taking you to leader-sama." And he continued walking to who I am guessing is Carrot juice. Oh gad, leader of the creepers. "NOO! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE CREEPER LEADER!" I SERIOUSLY don't wanna see the blinding hair of the dude.

That's when I got the idea: I'll run off! Its so freaking original! But how? He's attached me to his own leg! The scoundrel! But I WILL run towards the sun! But how? HOWW? I threw my hands up in the air to scream NOOOO dramaticly but fell on my very sore butt. Ouchies...oh wait...IM FREE!

"IM FREE! HAHAHAHAAA! BUAHAHAAA! FREEEDOM! FRRREEEEEEDOM!" I screamed throwing my hands in the air and ran into a random door. But unfortunately... all the creepers were there on wooden chair that didn't look very comfy

. Stupid door. You, of all doors, had to lead here! And with Carrot juice and everyone! Heck, Gramps is even here! How is that even possible!

"DAMMINT YOU STUPID DOOR!" so I materialized my lovely gun and set the door on fire while twitching madly "HA! REVENGE FEELS GOOD DON'T IT STUPID DOOR, DON'T IT?" ahh...that looks so relaxing, seeing the stupid door on fire...oh yea. Creepers in the room.

I will looks, now. In 5 minutes. Getting ready. Okay. Now. So I slowly turned around to see the some stoic and some giving me the infamous WTF face. "What? You dare question my sanity?...well you should." So went over to an open chair and started teetering on it. I noticed everyone staring at me expectantly.

"...what?"

**Ahhhhhh...you likey huny?**

**Kou:WOOT WOTT**

**Ill take that as a yes. How bout yuu kakuzu?'**

**Kakuzu:5 cents per word**

**Frick no.**

**Read and review!**


	11. introducing: gawd name to long to fit!

**Hsayyy! First, I would like to thank AnimeRulez55 for the nice reviview and her awesomeness for my story, **

**Kou: she sed I wuz funneh!**

**No, she sed she laughed rlly hard.**

**Kou: but im the main character!**

**And im basically your universal mother.**

**Kou:...no comment.**

**Guurrrl yuu got burned. And tahnk you DutchyPuppy ! luved your review made me lugh so hard!**

**Kou: no. you cant borrow my gun. YOU CAN BORROW MY ASSAULT RIFLE AND CHAIN SAW AND LET ME COME AND HELP DISTROY YOUR T.V AND DOOR! DEATH TO ALL OBJECTS THAT HIT US IN THE FACE MY UN-OFFICIAL SISTAH!**

**I don't own naruto!**

**GAHH! DUTCHY PUPPY! WHAT HAZ YUU DOONN?**

**Kou: enjoy the non-paid programming!**

Akatsuki pov

They were all waiting patiently at the stone table in their wooden seats with their still very fresh injuries. It had already been an hours since Deidara was supposed to get her from the room she was in. Deidara's excuse was "She was gonna kill me with that weird weapon she has yeah!" but they didn't care. It was the fact they had to wait so long.

Hidan was about to start complaining until they heard a voice screech "IM FREE! HAHAHAHAAA! BUAHAHAAA! FREEEDOM! FRRREEEEEOM!"

They were surprised to see the girl that gave them the serious injuries come busting through the door. She paused mid scream with her hands still in the air.

Pein was about to talk until she screamed "DAMMINT YOU STUPID DOOR!" a strange weapon appeared in her hand. She pulled her pointed finger back on the weapon, and something shot out of it, ending in the poor door's death.

"HA! REVENGE FEELS GOOD DON'T IT STUPID DOOR, DON'T IT?" she screamed causing half of the akatsuki to start hearing a squeaking sound in their ears for a second. After about 15 minutes with the girl's back to them, she slowly turned around with her innocent cute little face.

The first thing they did was examine her eyes. The left was that pure silver again and the right, that same clouded mystic honey. They quickly looked over her clothes: she wore the boots, bandages, ribbons, gloves, no sleeved coat and hat as before, but the coat was open showing what she wore on top.

She wore a white ruffled top and the sleeves looked like they were torn of in a battle! She also wore black shorts with the same white bandages wrapping from underneath it to the boots. As a belt it seemed, she used a big strip of bandage for a replacement belt. She started staring at them with a curious look. "What?"

Kou pov

Carrot juice got up from his bigger, and may I say comfier, looking seat and stood up as stiff as a board. And I'm pretty sure boards are pretty stiff. If their not then, oh well.

He looked me in the eye before saying "You are now apart of the akatsuki. Introduce yourself." Geeze, bossy much aren't you? But, how can I pass a chance to introduce the wonderful me to more of the world.

I stood up a straight with a serious face on. So bowed while crossing my right foot over the other and holding my hat in my hand my flicking my wrist around in a circular motion. I looked up from my bow and placed my hat on my head again with my wonderful grin.

"I thought you would never ask, dearie. The names Kou. Captain Kou to be exact." Carrot juice cocked an eye brow. "Last name?"

What? My awesome entrance not enough for you? "Sparrowall. But, personally, I prefer to just be called captain." Again, with the expectant stare. "Captain?"

Geeze, you and your questions. "yes . nothing less and might be more. I will..try to..keep open...the floor? I'm still trying to make it rhyme."

AGAIN THE STUPID EXPECTANT LOOK! ANYMORE AND I JUST MIGHT CATCH YOU ON FIRE!

"So you are saying that you are captain of a ninja team? What rank?" damn you and your stupid questions that I don't even know what your talking about with. "uhhh... ninja team? I thought it was a whole 'ninjas work alone' kinda thing. Or were those samurais?..hmm..."

I think I heard him say 'ibachi and gizzame, I need to eat you in my goffice.' I was spacing out until I noticed Carrot juice right in front of me.

"Your in my way." Man, when did men his age start getting so cranky. "And your in my personal space. Personal space man. PERSONAL SPACE" And I stepped to the side while making hand motions around me, showing my wonderful personal space.

While Carrot juice, Fish face and Gramps probably talking about the morning news or something, the rest of the creeper members started looking at me. "May I help you my dears?" I said in a british accent. Sighhh... british accents...

"Why the hell did you try to fu**in kill us?" it was Uber creeper. Geeze, quite the mouth on you, don't cha? "Because, my dear,...YOU GUYZ FRIGGEN STARTED IT!" some of them looked down under the table while some just continued looking at me.

Then Uber creeper started opening his big mouth again. "But then why did you damn cut of our fu**in body parts?" my, wonderful choice of words.

"Elementary dear Uber creeper, it I had just created a gash with my weapon to just knock you out, you would have been in a coma for about... approximately, 80-200 years." Some of them shivered, probably not wanting to know what would happen if I had just scratched them. They really don't want to know... now this blue haired women continued for me.

"So, the more skin you cut, the less time we are unconscious?" she asked me. "Exactly my dear Bloo bloo. How long were you out?" I really am curious. Usually if I just cut off a body part, they go into limbo for about, 5 years. "thanks to you bitch, we were out cold for 3 damn days!" well, that's remarkably short!

"How is that possible? You guys shouldn't be conscious for about, for the shortest time, 2 years unless I wanted you out for only a small time!" Bloo bloo started talking again.

"leader sama kidnapped some good healers from near by villages for us, but we still have injuries." So I went around the table lookin at everyones 'injuries'. "Wow! Those are 'injuries'? HA! Losing an appendage isn't that bad!" it really isn't! it will grow back. I think. I have lost my head several times each year.

"ya want me to heal those up for ya?" then there was stupid Uber creeper again. "No you fu**in cant! You're not even a damn medical ninja!" there's a medical ninja? Since when? I thought it was all about wearing uncomfortable black jump suits that make people's thighs look bigger.

"oh yea? Watch me." So I whipped out my dagger, and made a deeeeep gash in my fore arm. Then I waved my palm over the wound and...sha-zam! Works every single time! Woah... stupid earth commercial, been stuck in my head for a week now. I just might set it on fire...oh yeah. Healing ninjas.

"So ya want your body parts back or what?" they all nodded yes, even Uber creeper nodded. "Ten of your currency." What? Did you forget the fact I'm a negative ranked pirate?

"We're not fu**in payin to jashin damn heal us!" I put on my 'buisness face', which I am told, scares people shitless. "No money, no healey."

The first with probably the most common sense, whipped out ten of what ever the heck it is, and gave it to me. It was Bloo bloo. "Okay, where did I cut you?" I asked softly. She seemed the nicest, so I will keep my puppy face with her. "my right leg." She replied.

I swept my hand over her right leg. It seemed attached by... creepy looking stitches? The skin around it looks red too. She widened her eyes at mah awzome skillz yo. ... I am never doing that again.

So everyone else coughed up the money, even Uber creeper. Stitchy looked like he was giving up his own kid or something.

Soon when I was counting everyone's cash, which I never said was 10 each. Just ten to heal, Fish face, Gramps and Carrot juice came in. what took them so long? I guess he noticed that everybody had relaxed, since before they were so tense and rigid with pain. "Who healed you?" what kind of a question is that?

They all turned and looked at me, who was still standing near the now very charred door. Stupid door. They were staring at me. "Stop staring. It makes you guys look more creepier than you already do."

Well it's true you know. But they're still staring. "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" Stare. Stare. Stare. Stare stare stare stare stare.

"Do you want me to set you on fire?" that when I was tackled to the ground by someone. Who friggen tackles people to the ground?...oh yeah. I do. "May I help you random person that's sitting on my head that I will murder in their dreams and really do it while they're sleeping?" I gave off my killing aura and the dude (or dudett) got off of me. I was worried he would fart.

"Haaaaaaaaayyy! Is pretty lady Ko-chan?" Gawd, I can practically see the exclamation marks. But, the voice is... not annoying...not adorable...what is it? Meh, I'll just go with adorable. Second choice the charm! Or was it second times the charm? Oh well.

"Yeah! I am ko-chan! But that's captain to you, guy who thinks its okay to sit on people's head! " (yes, long nick name.)

I nodded my head rapidly with a grin on my face! Then I saw the mask. Hay! Isn't that m\Maddy's? Oh well. I'll ask about it later.

Then Guy who thinks its okay to sit on people's head had spoken in that questionable adorable voice of his "I'm going to introduce captain-chan to everyone!" I then slapped a hand over where im guessing his mouth is.

"no thanks Guy who thinks its okay to sit on people's head. I already know everyone!" I pointed to everyone from the right part of the table, to the left.

"Bloo bloo, Dude with bad skin dude, Stitchy, Uber creepr, Mrs. Yeah, Guy that thinks its okay to sit on people's head, Gramps, Fish face and leader of the creepers, Carrot juice!"

I saw Uber creeper and Fish face try to hide their laugh. Fail. Some even whispered they're new names to themselves in what I am hoping a gratefulness! Hm... I'm bored.

Guess ill go to the Black Pearl now. "welll, I've got to go back. I'm getting tired. Nighty night!"

so I formed my triangle. This time I got as far as the light on the inside getting nice and bright before I was being held again. I'm too lazy to fight Dude with bad skin dude. Maybe tomorrow.

"no. you are to stay here for the night." So I was led through the twisty ass halls again. I was brought into this room with two beds. Then Dude with bad skin dude wished me good night. "Have nice dreams tonight captain. **You'll want good sleep for tomorrow...**" and he disappeared into the floor.

Wait, 'he disappeared into the floor.'... That isn't really as crazy as it sounds does it? Then the door opened showing come in to the lit room by only a candle on a wooden desk.

Now that I look closely, the place is filled with clay and puppets.

"oh no un... why did I have to get you?" so he walked over to the other bed and plopped down on it.

His bed looks comfier. So I got up and walked over to his bed and laid down in it. Pretty nice bed I must say for a creeper club. I heard Mrs. Yeah roll over and face me, with my back to him.

"Why are you in my bed un?" he asked. I guess he's really tired, but there wasn't any grogginess in his voice. I think it's... embarrassment? What, he's embarrassed to have me next to him sleeping? Wow, that came out wrong.

"Because I'm cold and the bed I was previously on is cold and hard. Yours looked softer. And it is." I turned to face him when I said that. His red face went down a little. "Oh. Okay un."

When he turned around, I instinctively wrapped my arms around him. Again, the temperature in the room went up. "w-what are you doing yeah?" come on, hugs aren't that bad is it?

"sorry. Reflex. I usually have a pillow to hug when I'm sleep." It's true. I was about to take my arms off of him when I felt his hand on mine that was still wrapped on him.

"no. its okay un. You can hug me." Then I smiled a little. Man, who knew Mrs. Yeah was so cuddly?

"Oh, and the name's Deidara." He turned to and saw my smile. Is it that ugly? He went beet red again! Oh well. "Good to know. G'night Mrs. Yeah." I then went to sleep after my last word.

Deidara pov

Shes so cute when she's a sleep... wait, why am I watching her sleep? Thats just creepy un. Oh well. Ill watch until she either catches me doing it, or I fall asleep yeah.

'

**So, I added alittle of kou and dee dee at the end there. Don't worry, they wont be the only luvies. There are others.**

**Kou: OH MAH GAWD! MRS. YEAH IS INDEED A CREEPER!**

**Deadara: no im not yeah!**

**Kou: yes you are! You friggen watched me sleep!**

**Deidara: only cause your so cute!**

**Kou:...*walks away to random place not here***

**Great job deedee. You made my main character quit.**

**Deidara: hmph. **

**Read and review!**


	12. introducing: ME! HELL HAS BROKEN LOSE!

**Aaaaaaannn...im backy! Srry it took longer to post than I usually do. Its jst school.**

**Kou: thx to UU I was sleeping 4 like almost a week with mrrs. Yeah staring at me!**

**Deidara: I didn't mind.**

**Of couse yuu didn't ya little creepr. Plus, your cheating on dutchy!**

**Deidara: wait...YUU MEAN THAT CHIC THAT CALLED ME HER BOYFRIEND IN HER MIND!**

**Yes. I don't own naruto!**

**Thx DutchyPuppy and AnimeRulez55! Luv ya gurlz!**

Kou pov

Mannn...what a nice sleep... so... the creeper club said they were out cold for 3 days...

I've slept here for 2...fudge monkeys. I've been here for 5 flippen days! Curse you kick azz math skillz! Oh well. I've been out longer...

Why the heck is Mrs. Yeah staring at me? I opened my still closed eyes and found Mrs. Yeah staring at my from my right.

"OMFG! CREEPER ALEERT! CREEPER ALERT!" and jumped out of the oh so comfy bed and outta the room.

Ggezle! Why do people like staring at me?

Anyway, I ran out of the room and right into Guy who thinks its okay to sit on people's head

"GOOD MORNING CAPTAIN-CHAN!" I still can't be sure whether or not to be annoyed of drove into craziness... oh well. I choose craziness.

"HIIIIIII GUY WHO THINKS ITS OKAY TO SIT ON PEOPLES HEAD!" then I remembered Mrs. Yeah.

So I hugged him and crawled behind him so I was clutching onto him from behind and scream into his ear.

"MRS. YEAH TRYED TO RAPE ME WITH HIS CREEPER EYES! WAAAAHHHHH!" Right on cue, Mrs. yeah came burst open the door with his creeper bath robe on with his face all red.

"I DID NOT! AND SHUT UP TOBI!" then Uber creeper came in with his jashinist sythe which, personally, I think is pretty small.

"DAMN IT! SHUT THE F**K UP! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO F**KIN SLEEP WITH ALL THIS DAMN NOISE?" then... fish face came in! It's a party!

"WHAT THE HELL IS WITH ALL THE NOISE?" aanndd... here comes dude with bad skin dude!

"**SHUT UP! WERE TRYING TO SLEEP!** BE QUIET!" woo! Now all we need is karaoke... ahh! Bloo bloo, Gramps and Carrot juice is here!

"What is going on here?" carrot juice asked. I was still sitting cross legged in the corner when all heads turned to me.

Carrot juice asked "well?"...well what? hmmm pancakes...

"I'm hungry." So skipped down the hall to try and find a kitchen or something.

I found carrot juice in front of me. "Where are you going?" I looked closely a his face... hmmm... I came closer to stare closely at a piercing.

"Why do you have those?" I asked. He seemed to have flinched from the distance between us, which there is practically none, but he stood still.

Hmm... Do those taste good? They're on the inside of his mouth... so I got closer and licked the piercing on his bottom lip. Blech! Taste like copper!

He froze in place as I made a face. I skipped along behind him. Hmm...wait...oh...emm...gizzle...

IT'S A ROCK! NOT JUST ANY ROCK! IT'S A ROOOOCK!

I started doin my happeh dance and started singing Weasel Stomping day by Weird Al. and...Gramps appeared!

Oooo he's magically delicious!...stupid lucky charms...(ha reference to AnimeRulez55!)

he rose his brow in a questioning way. What? To old to use words? So I bent down to pick up the rock and shoved it down my throat.

Hmm...thats some goooooood rock... I looked up at Gramps who had surprised expression.

What? Never saw a person eat a rock before? I started getting a weird feeling in my stomach...yay! Fro Yo is here!

Frozen yoyo's pov (AKA ME!)

WWWOOOOO! IM IN MAH OWN STOREH! KICK AZZ! THE ONLY CATCH IS I'M OVER 9000 TIMES HYPER! BUAHAHAHAA!

"HI ITACHI ITACHI ITACHI ITACHHI!"

WOO I THREW MY ARMS (or kou's amrs) OVER MY HEAD AND STARTED RUNNING AROUND IN A SMALL CIRCLE SCREAMING "WOO WOO WOO WOOW OO!"

HEY! THE WHOLE AKATSUKI IZ HERE! YAAAY! GET THE GARLIC CHIPPY DIPPY OUT HERE!

"HAAAY! FRO YO IZ IN DAH HOOOOUSE! EVERYBODEH SAYY HAAY!" ...IMAD A SMALL HAND PUPPET "HOO!"

AND I STARTED SCREAMING AND I JUMPED ON TOBI

"HIII TOBBY! YOU'RE A BAD BAD BAD BAD BAAAAAAAAD BOI! I'M A GOOD GOOD GOOD GOOOOOOOOD GUUURL!"

I SCREAMED INTO HIS FACE THEN I JUMPED ON TO KISAME'S BACK

"HII HOO FISHY! OFF TO THE SUN WE GOOO!" HE ANSWERED "Hell no!" I GAVE HIM KOU'S LARE AND HE MADE A HORSEY SOOUUNDDD!

"!" SO I JUMPED OFF AND RAN THROUGH SEVERAL WALLS AND OUT INTO THE WILD! WOO! SURVUVAL TRAININ TIME BABY!"

Akatsuki pov

All of them had that anime sweat drop on the back of their head, all thinking 'wtf?" as they stared at the person with their arms above their head shaped holes in the several walls leaving a giant one leading out to the forest outside as they could till hear her screaming "FUDGE YES! STUPID TREEEE!" then "OWW! FOOT YOU STUPID AZZ ROCK!" *explosion*

**Oh yea, im in control babeh.**

**Kou: how is that rock gonna come out...?**

**Uhh...ill let the viewers think about that...**

**Read and review hun!**


	13. introducing: Glasses dude and Road kill!

**Chappeh 13 for yuu swat monsters.**

**(the next chappie iz dedicated to my dear sistahs Dutchy and AnimeRulez55)**

**Kou: no matter what you do, that will never sound cute.**

**Well, an author can dream cant she?**

**Kou: no. that's why they have fanfiction.**

**Well...poo.**

**Kou: yes. You better poo.**

**I don't own naruto! Only kou!**

**Kou:yuu doo nooottt oowwnnn mmeeeee**

**Yess I do sweetie. Now, zipperz misterz.**

kou pov

Mannnn! I feel soo drained...alright. I'm better. I usually have consciousness when Fro yo comes around.

{I heard mah name.} Stop breaking the fourth wall fro yo. {no I'm not} Whatevah Fro yo dearest.

Anyway, I woke up on top of this tree branch. Ilooked in front of me and saw this glasses eyes dude with white hair. Wait, wtf?

"GAH!" and I fell from the rather very high branch. Damntit Fro yo! I shook my fist high in the with a mix of: pissed off

+ annoyed + Bum hurted = me shaking fist in the air towards the sky.

{well, excuse me for putting you on a high branch...} "YESS! YOU SHOULD BE EXCUSED DAMNIT!" then after my random little awesome fit of awesomeness, I looked around.

How the snot did I get in a forest? And... Why is there a dude with grey hair and a dude with a weird rope tied around his waist?

And wtf is with the no shirt? Is he a creeper too? Are there waffles here? Why am I asking myself so many questions?

Sigh... so many questions and so many answers that cannot be said or else any person in the hearing area will go insane...

I looked up and went over to the dude with no shirt.

Woah, what is with his hair?

{I always read in fanfiction its chicken butt shaped...} no. I wasn't thinking that Fro yo. I was thinking it looked like road kill.

I was hugging him from behind and was groping his hair. "Wwwwoooaahhh! It's so freaking soft yet spiky looking! Did you know your hair looks like road kill? And it smells like *sniff sniff* what the snot? It freaking smells like plants! I can't tell whether that's a good or bad thing..."

as I was still on his back thinking about if I could set it on fire, he got me off and in a flash,

I was sitting on the tippy top of the tall azz tree that SOMEONE had placed me on earilier before.

{I SAID O WAS SORRY} "SORRY DOESN'T WORK FOR ME FRO YO! IT JUST DOESN'T WORK FOR ME!"

I looked at road kill and glasses dude and smiled my cute innocent smile. "May I help you?" I saw glasses dude trying to hide a chuckle and road kill hold back a twitch.

He spoke "who are you?" I have always wanted to do this!

I hopped to my feet on the very thin branch and did my kick azz pose.

"Who am I...? Who am I? WHO AM I? I AM YOUR FATHER! BUAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAA!"

and I jumped back to my innocence sitting on a branch. "So, who are you guys?"

road kill openly twitched and glasses dude startes smiling (wich I must say, pretty creepy) and a talked for road kill.

"I am Kabuto. My companion here is Sasuke. We were on our way to our... home, when we found you."

...how the snot do you 'find' a person in a branch of a high azz tree? Not unless they travel by running through trees or something. Damn if they did.

"can I have a piggy back ride?" they didn't have time to react as I jumped on glasses dude's back and pointed towards the sun.

"on ward to the sunset glasses dude! Giddy up!" he gave me a weary look

"but its morning." Ughh! Thanks for ruining my moment man!

"sun rise, sun set, sun middle, I don't care! Just onward before I grope your hair!" he stiffened, probably remembering what I did with road kill's hair.

And we were off towards the setting (rising whatever) sun!

**I am super sorry this was short. Stupid school and...stuff.**

**Kou: stop entering my freaking mind woman!**

**I can and I will and I have a right.**

**Kou: and what right is that?**

**The right that sez: I AM YOUR FREAKING CREATER (literally) AND I SERIOUSLY CONTROL YOUR LIFE! **

**Kou:...is it on paper?**

**Yes. Yes it. My sistahs AnimeRulez55 and DutchyPuppy have it. And that means... FANFICTION SLEEP OVER!**

**Everyone (especially Deidara): GGGAWWWWWWWWD NOOOOOOOOOOO!**

**HEEELLLLLLLLZ YESS! OH! DUTCHY IS EARLY!**

**DutchyPuppy: DEI DEI! *glomp of death Deidara* **

**Deidara: YYYY FRO YO?1 WHYYYYY?**

**Cuz i can.**

**Read and review!**


	14. introducing: Dutchy and AnimeRulez55!

**HAAAYY! I AM SUPPPER phyyced for this chapter. I promise my dear swat onsters, that after this chapter, it will kill your mind forever.**

**Kou: my minds already dead, so go right ahead. WOOT IT RHYMED!**

**Yes it did kou. Yes it did. *ding dong* HERE THEY ARE!**

**Everyone: OH SHYITT! HIDE YOUR CHILDREN AND BRAINS!**

**Dutchy and AnimeRulez55: weeeeeeer'e HERE!**

**Everyone: AAAHHHHHHHHHHH**

**I don't naruto or AnimeRulez55 or Dutchy! **

Kou pov

I was still riding on glasses dude's back when we heard some loud crackling coming from these bushes.

*sniff sniff* oh noo...

I jumped off of glasses dudes' back and shoved a random rock down my throat against my will.

"EFF NO FRO YO! EFF NOO! WHY ARE THEY HERE?" seriously! Wtf Fro yo? {tee hee hee. Bai bai Kou sweetie.}

I saw glasses dude and road kill stare at me like I was crazy (because I am. But that's not the point.) Before Fro yo took over.

"DAMN IT FRO YO!"

My pov (AKA MINES, ANIMERULEZ55 AND DUTCHY'S POV)

Aaahhhhhh! This feels AWESOME! "HAAY! YOU'RE HERE!" and infront of me were two girls with creepy ass grins in front of me.

FUDGE YES! I ran over to them and gave them a dude hug. Yep. Dude hugs are more than bear hugs.

Third person pov cause its easier that way.

Kabuto and Sasuke stared at Kou (or in this case Fro yo) AnimeRulez55 and Dutchy as they slowly turned towards them with scary as shit grins, little did they know,

they were thinking very scary thoughts that if known to the outside world, they would lose their sanity forever.

Sasuke was still in shock and major confusion that he didn't notice AnimeR kick him in the area where no man should ever be kicked.

"That's for eating my magic blue banana!" his expression stayed stoic but we ALL know what's going on inside his head: 'FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE'

Kabuto was busy thinking wtf when Dutchy snuck behind him and jumped on him.

"KABUTO I LUV YOUR GLASSES! GIME GIMME GIMME GIMME!" she said groping his face from behind on his back with a crazy expression.

Sasuke recovered quickly but was still feeling the burn on the inside. "Who the hell are you?" he asked.

All girls looked at each other simultaneously which would have creeped anyone out, even Chuck-e!

They all spoke at the same time "we...are..." they appeared right next to each other in a pose that consisted of Fro yo in the middle with her arms over her head, AnimeR on her right with her arms reaching outwards and the same with Dutchy on the left.

"THEKICK ASS FANFICTION AUTHORS OF AWESOMENESS!" cue confetti cannon and colorful anime background.

Sasuke was holding back the infamous 'wtf look' but Kabuto had already done it.

Then, Deidara came out of no where only in a towel. ..."WHY THE HELL AM I HERE YEAH?"

Dutchy had a nose bleed then came running at Deidara at full speed screaming "DEEEEEEEIDAAAAAARAAAA!" then jumped on him, smooching him everywhere on his face.

"YOU SMELL LIKE HAPPY AND RAINBOWS! WHAT KIND OF SHAMPOO DO YOU USE? I CANT BELIVE YOU FORGOT OUT 50 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! WAAAHHHHH! CAN I EAT YOUR HAIR! YUUMMM! IT TASTE LIKE HAIRRR!"

during her little one sided conversation, her expression changed from happy, depressed, then happy again.

Theeennn...Gaara came in through the air and fell right on his little kazekage bottom. AnimeR suddenly glomped him from the air screaming "GREEEEEEEEEN!" and she was on top of his head

"why isn't my sand working?" he asked to no one unparticular. "Its cause" Fro yo started "she's not trying to stab a nice little knife into the back of your pretty head."

She said as she was eating a cookie that came form... who knows where. Dutchy turned her gaze to the cookie in Fro yo's hand.

"cookie...cookie...cookie... MIIIIIIIIINE!" she ran at Fro yo who had gotton up. Soon they were running around in a circle, Dutchy screaming with the half eaten cookie "MY COOOOOKIE!" and Fro yo screaming "GIMME THE DAMN COOKIE!"

AnimeR sniffed then turned to the other screaming girls and ran towards them, joining the circle behind Fro yo. "I WAAANT SOOOOME!" as Deidara, Gaara, Sasuke and Kabuto watched in just plain confusion, everything stopped when Fro yo ran into a tree.

...

"HOW THE SNOT DID THAT GET HERE? AND I THOUGHT DUTCHY WAS INFRONT OF ME!" and somehow, Dutchy was in front of the tree. And so was AnimeR.

"How in the worldy is that possible? Stupid tree!" and Fro yo kicked it. "FROZEN SHRIMP NUGGETS!" and she started... biting the poor tree that had to face her wrath with AnimeR and Dutchy cheering her on.

Soon a strange purple snake slithered over to them seeing everything that had happed. *poof* A giant puff of smoke happened then cleared, showing Orochimaru.

"What is going on here?" he asked. Dutchy's eyes widened then ran around in a small circle screaming "AAAHHHHHHH! CREEPY AZZ PEDO-SNAKE! STOP STALKING ME IN MY DREAMS! AHAHHHHHHH!"

Fro yo started panicking and ran around in a small circle screaming like Dutchy "AAAAHHHHHHHHH THE ULTIMATE CREEPER OF CREEPERNESS! SO CREEPY HE'S CREEPIER THAN CREEPY ITSELF! CREEEEEEPY!"

AnimeR went over to Orochimaru and asked "why do you look like a woman?" . Orochimaru hissed and reached out to strangle her but froze seeing her expression of realization and she once again joined in on the screaming party.

Everyone was unaware of everybody else's presence except for Fro yo, AnimeR and Dutchy. Once again, Fro yo crashed into a tree.

"uggghhhh! How is that even possible?" soon, waffles appeared in the air and Fro yo started eating every single one of them singing "NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM"

Dutchy stole Kabuto's glasses from him while he was still frozen in confusion and the feeling of wtf from his face and wore them,

she seeing everything all swirly like. "Woah...everthing is so pretty...whoa that's a cool tree!" she said then thumped into Kabuto, " owie!...Woah... that's a cool tree!" again, thumping into Kabuto. "owie!...woah...thats a cool tree!" yet, a gain, bumping into Kabuto and doing so again, and again, and again...and again. And again, just for good measure.

AnimeR jumped onto Orochimaru and started slapping his but and yelling "GIIDY UP HORSEY! TOWARDS THE SPRINKLEY FROSTED DONUTS!" and frosted donuts appeared a few feet away from them. "I SAID SPRINKLEY!" now sprinkled. "that's better."

Orochimaru glared at her before hissing "get off me, stupi-" he didn't finsih because now AnimeR covered his mouth with her palm and whispered "giddy up horsey, or you will lose that pretty little tongue of yours."

He realized if she could easily get on his back, she could cut off his precious tongue.

So he started walking slowly towards the donuts. "FASTER HORSEY!" she slapped his butt, and he took off towards the donuts.

Fro yo finished all her waffles and started screaming "I WANT MORE WAFFLES WITH PONIES AND RAINBOWS!" then everything was filled with ponies and rainbows and waffles.

Soon, anything you saw would either be a pony, rainbow, waffle of a mix of both: a poaffbow. Then everything was buried. Then...

*BOOM*

Kabuto pov

Ugh...why do I have this headache? And why am I on the ground...

I saw the girl that previously on my back before sitting across from me cross legged looking so innocent.

Hmm... must have been some enemy ninja... what a crazy dream.

Ponies... Orochimaru-sama...Horsey...How strange.

Wait, where are my glasses?

And...wheres Sasuke?

"ITS RAPE TIME! BUAHAAHAAA! STOP STRUGGLING! IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!"...

I'll just rest a little more...

**I hope I pleased ya guyz and gurlz out there! **

**Kou: wut the snot did you do to my body?**

**I mmad it sexier, that's what.**

**Read and review!**


	15. introducing:Mr, his name is too long!

**HAAAAAY SWAT MONSTARS!**

**Srry I don't update as much! Its hst stupid mutt skool!...and the fact my mom is hogging my laptop. **

**Kou: DAAMM YUU FRIGGEN MIND RAPED THE VIEWSERS LST CHAPTER WOMAN**

**Well EXXXCUUUUUSE MUAH if they cant handle pure un carbonated AWSOMENESS**

**I DON'T OWN NARUTO OR ANY QUOTES OR REFERENCES FOMR PIRATES OF THE CARRIBIAN!**

Third person pov:

Kou was taking a nap on a tense Sasuke's back as he and Kabuto stopped in front of a cave.

Kabuto went over to Kou and shook her awake slowly. "We are here miss."

She stirred but didn't awake, but said something that sounded close to:

"nnoo... you cant eat the bunnies yet sir orange cake...they need sprinkles..." he shook her again.

"wahhh...noo...no...NOOO...why did you eat them?...because you need it to survive from the massive battle between you and gawd isn't an excuse...YOU ATE MY BUNNINES WITH SPRINKLES!"

and she jumped up in a strange position with her arm in the air and aiming it for the sky twitching madly.

"GIMME BACK MY LUNCH WITH SPRINKLES STUPID ROCK!"

and she fired her gun at a cloud. Then she looked around and realized what she had just done.

"oh snot monkeys... EVERYONE TAKE COVER" and she started running around in circles screaming "OH MAH GIZZLE OH MAH GIZZLE OH MAH GIZZLE"

Kabuto and Sasuke looked at each other before noticing the giant bright ball of fire coming towards them through the cloud Kou just shot.

Sasuke grabbed Kou and ran into the cave with Kabuto. The moment they were inside, they heard a loud boom from the outside.

They took a look out and saw tiny pebbles and sprinkles fall from the sky.

The two glanced over at Kou who had smug grin on her face, which sent disturbed shivers down their spines.

Kou looked up at Sasuke's face that was really close to hers. "hay dude, personal space. PERSONAL SPACE"

Sasuke blushed a little and put her down. "thank you dearie. And now, I will take my leave and eat some cake with ponies and happy faces if you don't mind."

And she formed her fingers into the triangle until she heard someone from behind her. "OH MY FLIP! I WILL EAT SOMEONE'S FACE IF I KEEP GETTING INTERRUPTED!"

And a figure stood directly in front of her when she turned around.

Kou pov

"hay! Its Mr. creeper stalker dude with no ballz!"

isn't he the guy who tried to kill me? Oh well, I usually can't remember things like these.

His face turned into something that looked like annoyance and hissed

"youu... Kabuto, why did you bring her here?" geeze, what a drama mama. So, the grey haired dude is kabuto? I heard that's a pokemon on earth. Hmm...I wonder what would happen if I threw a poke ball at him...so I picked up a rock and chucked it at Kabuto's head. Hes not worthy anymore of being called glasses dude anymore.

He flinched and turned to me. "please tell me why you did that?"

whats wrong with wanting to see if a human (OR IS IT HMUAN?) could get sucked into a rock as a replacement poke ball?

Nothing at all!

"Did what?" he twitched while holding his head.

"Chucked a rock at my head."

"its not a rock."

"then what is it?"

"it's a poke ball."

"boke ball?"

"poke ball."

"poke ball?"

"yes. It's a poke ball."

"whats a poke ball?"

oh dear, so many questions, so many answers that would make many go insane...

"well sweetie, if I told you, it would probably either blow your mind or make you hear the birthday song in your head for the rest of your life. Which do you prefer?"

he shut up after that.

**Im rlly am srry that was ridiculously short. But I already have another 2 chappies typed but my lap top is bein a butt soooo...yepperz.**

**Kou: you 4got to tell them!**

**Ahhh! Thatts right! Tell them that! Uhmm...that...thing...?**

**Kou: I really am wondering your smartness...**

**SMARTNESS ISNT A WORD**

**Kou:YES IT IS**

**Read, review and do me favor and look up whether or not smartness is a word plz.**


	16. introducing:The return of Mr No Ballz!

**Heeeyyy! I haz a new lap top sooo more chapters! And I haz a new editor and her name is….AnimeRulez55! she iz a cool person (OR UNICORN IN DISGUISE) and was nice enough to be my editor!**

**Kou: WHAT TOOK YOU SO FREAKIN LONG?**

**I WAS BUSY!**

**I don't own pokemon or naruto!**

Third person pov

Kou was then being led by Sasuke after her very long and very confusing explanation of what pokemon was.

'hmmm…I wonder where I may catch a 'pika-chuu' or a 'myewww'…' Sasuke thought as he led Kou down the dark halls. He then stopped at a ceratin door.

"Orochimaru-sama will be with you" he opened up the door and he quickly shoved her in there and locked the door.

Kou pov

…why did road kill shove me in here?

It wasn't like I was gonna blow his head to bits if he lay a finger on me and then barbeque him then feed him to the sharks then feed him to the little wood land animals!

...oh wait…maybe I was…

smart dude for road kill. Woahh…what a drab room!

Third person opv

Orochimaru was stalking towards the room where Kou was, grumbling something about 'creepers' and 'ballz'.

When he opened the door, what he saw disturbed him to no end. No, it wasn't severed head. Even worse than mutilated puppies to Orochimaru…

"Whet the he** did you do here?" what was he looking at you may or may not wonder?

He was looking at a sparkly pink room with paintings of unicorns with puppy head and cupcakes with cat ears,

with Kou in the middle of drawing a cute smiling snake, kabuto pokemon and a mutilated chicken that looked like road kill under a rainbow.

"oh! Hey Mr. Creeper stalker dude with no ballz! Do you like my artwork?" he still stood there frozen in confusion, anger, annoyance and a little bit of fear.

"…uhm, yes. Its quiet…pretty. I see there's a smile on the rainbow…" Kou beamed at her art work and hopped over to him like a bunny on crack.

"sooo-o-o-o-o-o-oooo how are you-u-u-u-u? Can I play with your hair-r-r-r-r?" he started twitching "yes, yes just be quiet!"

only when he finished his sentence did he realize what he just said. "YAAAAYY!" and she lunged onto his back and started braiding his hair.

He may not show it, but we all know what Orochimaru was thinking. 'oh sh*t…'

**Listen, I know that its wasn't all that eventful but I still made other chapters and I am probably working my editor to the bone…**

**Kou: WHY WERE YOU SO LATE WITH THESE CHAPTERS?**

**BECAUSE MY LAP TOP WUZ BEIN A BUTT BIT NOW I CAN TYPE ON MY NEW ONE SO HAPPY?**

**Kou: yes. Yes I am.**

***sighz* read and review!**


	17. introducing:Rude orange dude!

**Hollla! I would rlly like to thx my other reviewers who commented, Llittle firework and ! and especially my regulars! I bet you know who they are…and if you don't then…poo.**

**Kou:NO! NOT POO!**

**YESS KOU! YES POOO! BUAHAHAHAA!**

**I don't own naruto or any other real thinginges.**

Third person pov

Kou was still holding onto Orochimaru for dear life while making his hair into the form of some kind of walrus.

kou pov

Now… a twist here, and brush there annndd… "DONE"

I see flinch Mr. Creeper dude with no ballz flinch for whoever knows why, probably the fact I just caused him to go deaf, (since making him lose the ability to make children wasn't enough)

and road kill practically mamed himself after he not even epicly failed while doing something called a gizori? Seedori? Whatever, it made this birdy sound.

Road kill glared at me while Mr. Creeper dude with no ballz lectured me about 'concentration' and 'getting hurt real bad if I interrupt their training again' blah, blah, BLAH I've heard this before.

Then Mr. Creeper dude with no ballz stiffened and so did Road kill and Kabuto ran into the room.

They gave each other knowing looks and ran outta the training grounds.

"hey! Whats goin on? Is the icecream truck here?" the ice cream truck is the only thing that I can think of that makes people run outta the room so fast.

So I walked into the dark halls and saw Road kill staring at me really, and I mean like REALLY hard like he was trying to melt me or something.

He started moving his mouth to say something then nothing came out. He tried moving his mouth again. Nothing again. And tried again and….nothin.

"oh geezle, spit it out already!" again, trying to melt me with non-existent heat vision.

So to get him goin, I kissed him on the lips. That oughta get him talkin! He widened his eyes and I saw some pink go up to his cheeks before he FINALLY FRIGGEN SAID SOMETHUING!

"you should go leave and hide." And POOF! Hes gone.

…WTF?

So I go and explore the rest of the base and here really fast foot steps.

I turn around and find this kid with gravity defying blonde hair and a blindingly orange jump suit. Whoever said that was stylish? (not that I care bout fashion)

"who the heck are you? Wheres Sasuke?" what a rude dude.

"uhhhm… Sasuke… I know a mattsuke…a noonsuke…heck I even know a Spongebob Squarepants! He gave me this cool tie and dried up star fish…oh wait…what was I thinking about again?"

The Rude orange dude (yepperz new nick name) gave me an exasperated look before saying "Sasuke! Where is he?"

Geeze where the intergalactic fire? "ohyeaa! Sasukeeeee!...nope. never heard of him."

He then ran ahead of me bit then stopped abruptly when I wondered out loud "I wonder where that dead chicken headed guy went…"

he ran back to me and yelled into my face "a guy with black hair and black eyes?"

"with the expression of someone who just had a stick up his butt for the last ten million years? Yepperz. He mightive left though."

He widened his eyes before throwing me on his back and carrying me. "you're coming with me." I was about to protest but, free transportation? I'm all for it!

So I had a nice little cat nap until I was RUDELY woken up by the yet again blinding orange jump suit combined with the sunlight, and seeing someone with pink hair, a guy with weird a** eyes that were as wide as a frog's and the guy I've seen a couple of times in the hall with the almost as creepy as mine smile, who I deemed worthy of the title, Face.

Then I heard Rude orange dude's voice yell in a loudy,

"hey! Shes awake!"

**Im gonna be updating a lot more now soo, look forward to it kiddies!**

**Read and review!**


	18. introducing:Bubblicious, Face and Dude!

***sigh* stupid mom. She tried cleaning up this little corner full if our wires that connects to the phone, t.v, internet and electricity. And nooowww,,,,… I HAVE NO INTERNETZ OF PHONE! THANKS A LOT MOM! So, im workin on chapters on the mean time.**

**Kou:….okay.**

…**.i don't own naruto of anything else cept kou.**

Third person pov

When Naruto had gotton news that Sasuke wasn't there anymore, he nearly threw the seemingly fragile body he almost forgot he was holding into the wall.

He soon remembered her and roughly set her down once the four of them were outside. "hey! She isn't awake!"

"thank you for stating the obvious Naruto." Sai said. "Shut it you two! She may be injured!" Sakura was gonna look over at the stranger when it stirred whispering

"nooo bunny boy… mrs kookaracha wont be happy if you steal the government's carrots… you wont get your after noon snack…"

"hey! Shes awake!"

Kou pov

"HOLY SNOT MUFFINS! IT'S AN OVER 9000 SIZED ORANGE WITH GRAVITY DEFYING HAIR!..oh wait, its just you."

I sat up in a pretzel position and looked up at them. Hmm… Rude orange dude, Face, Bubblicious and…I'll just call him dude.

"sooo….do you know the closest city…village…place…thing." Yes, I have such a way with words.

"and why should we tell you?" daang, and I thought I was quiet.

Heh heh, sarcasm. No? you don't get it? I should probably shut up now… but this is my mind how do I should I shut up? But WHY should I shut up? But, if my mind doesn't know my own joke, what kind of person am i? And I even a person? What if my un-person species ruins the world? Is the world gonna die? Then that means…

"I AM THE FREAKING KEY TO WORLD DOMINATION! AHHHHHHHH!" then I noticed that I still had un-invited guests.

(but, when did I send out invitations in the first place? When I do, I hope they have rainbows on them with unicorns. Hey, why is this thought within a thought so long? But, am I asking my mind while asking my mind another question within a thought within another thought abouth a thought inside a thought-

[SHUT UP KOU] STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! [JUST SHUT UP AND CONTINUE WITH THE DAMN STORY] FINE) okaayyy…damn you so very developed mind.

Third person pov

Naruto, Sai, Sakura and Yamato were still staring in the O.o face at Kou as she was hysterically rolling around on the ground and muttering incoherent things.

Kou pov

Well… that took up a good… uhm…3 hours.

Wow, its amazing how having an internal conflict with yourself can take. Than again, I didn't really have a conflict… but, in the dictionary, an internal conflict means tha- [SHUT. UP.] Fine fine.

"so, ya know a place?" before Rude orange dude took a deep breath to yell at me I swiftly got up and covered his mouth with my hand.

"sweetie, if you were about to say, 'but we found you in that creepy looking cave thingy that totally needed a total make over' ,which I only say because I thought it would be a good comeback, then I will freaking eat your face in your sleep."

So I took my hand off his mouth and he stood dumbfounded. "h-how did you know?..."

oh dear…

WHAT KIND OF PLANET IS THIS?

**That didn't really progress the story very far, so I WILL MAKE ANOHTER CHPATER**

**Kou: fudge yea! *fist pump***

**Read and reviewww!**


	19. introducing:Barbie, Uncle mac and Chuck!

**Yaaayyyy! I updated!**

**Kou: huzzah! Now I can see my loving and adoring fans!**

…**yea…suuuuure….whateveah….**

**Naruto: BELIVE IT**

**OH SNOT NO! SONT START THIS NARUTO!**

**Oh don't own naruto or anything else except the (wonderful and beautiful *SHUT UP KOU*) oc kou.**

**JST WANTED EVERYONE 2 SEE THIS! THANK YOU ANIMERULZ55 FOR MAKING WHAT ACTUALLY MAKES A PLOT FOR THE STORY**

Third person pov

Kou had jumped on Naruto's neck and started yelling "ON WARD AN UPWARD!" while pointing a stick {that came from…where?} in the air.

"hey! Get off me!"

"hmm… let me thing bout that…no. NOW GIDDY UP!" The whole trip was filled with the sound of complaints, exploding, punches and stupid puns.

"did ya hear about the one with the pickle and the shoe?" was what Kou said to Naruto while grinning madly.

Naruto was also grinning from ear to ear, Sakura looking slightly annoyed (but actually laughed at some points) Sai with his creepy 'smile' and captain Yamato…doin whatever he does.

They had finally arrived at Konoha without any breaks. Before either of the gate's guards noticed them, Kou had decided to be the first one to greet them.

"Heyyy there!" the guards jumped at the stranger and brought their kunais and threw them at where Kou…used to be standing.

One moment she was on the ground lying face down in the dirt, next shes on their shoulders pumping her fist into the air "yeaa! You got that…thing! Wait, what were we attacking?"

they were about to cut her into pieces but Yamato interrupted. "shes with us!" he called waving.

They all entered the gates and Kou was trailing behind them with a psychotic grin. "byyyyeee! See you next time!"

Kou pov

Woooow… this place has changed… I hopped over to Rude orange dude's back and jumped on it.

"Soo…. I'm hungry." Well that brightened his face… "Sure! I know a great place!" and he grabbed my wrist.

I saw Bubblicious and Face (I have no idea where Dude went off to…) with the faces of 'I want NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS' oh but they are…they are…

"ah ah ah! If I'm goin down, you 2 are comin with me!" and I grabbed both of their wrists with one hand! Yep! That takes some serious skillz!

and ran towards a place called…wth? Why is this in Japanese? They are speaking English aren't they? And…why aren't my feet touching the ground?

Mah gawd, the kid is running fast enough that he's defying laws of freaking physics! Well…so do I. but I'm not doing this alone!

So yay! And he plopped all of inn some chairs. "the usual!" he yelled and Bubblicious and Face ordered miso ramen.

Hmm…me likey ramen. So I ordered just as much enthusiasm as Rude orange dude. "miso ramen here too! But give me 3 bowls worth!" the old guy behind the counter…table…thingy… grinned ad said "comin right up!"

and he put bowls infront of Bubblicious, Face and Rude orange dude. Wow, that was fast.

And I got mine in a huge pot. Nope, not bowl. POT. As Rude orange dude was about to order another bowl I ordered another pot. "more please!" and I smiled mah dazzling smile of innocence.

"get me FOUR bowls worth old man!" oh dude, I am not goin down…"I bet I can eat it faster than you!"

"I bet ILL eat it faster than you!"

"YOU ARE ON!" and we got giant azz pots of miso ramen. Man that chef dude is freaking quick.

3rd person pov

By their 78th pot it already had been… 15 minutes.

By their 106th Kou had said "aww, to heck with it" and took her whole pot of soup and chucked the whole thing into her mouth.

Yes. The whole thing. As in the pot too. And fork. (which she never used mind you.)

By their 289th after another 10 minutes, Naruto had fainted with ramen over load and Kou fist pumping the air like nothing ever happened.

Sakura and Sai had been watching is awe with the sweat drops on the back of their heads. The chef went over to her and asked "so, who's gonna pay?"

Kou pov

…pay? Uhhhmmm… "ehheh…Rude orange dude, mah buddeh…this guy over has got it."

The chef dude nodded his head and I ran like snot to get outta here.

Besides, I still think I left the bath on the Black pearl… I was still running until I bumped into someone, making me and whoever I bumped into fall onto the ground.

"oww! Hey, watch where ya goin! Your gonna damge my hair!" I was about to retort but then looked up into blue eyes and saw a chunk if blonde hair.

Next to her was this guy with a face that just plain screamed 'I really wish I weren't here right now.' And someone else who looked quiet… round. Hmmm…

"AHA I HAZ IT NOW! You, I deem worthy as Barbie, Uncle mac and Chuck!" they were gonna say something but looked at me weirdly.

What? Whats wrong with meeting someone for the first time and dramatically giving nicknames that make PERFECT sense {AKA no sense what-so-ever} (shut up fro yo!} to them?

NOTHING. AT. FREAKING. ALL.

"WHAAT? IM NOT CRAZY" then they started muttering. "ya think she came out of the hospital ward?"

"probably…"

"should we bring her back? And get some food too?" …ouch. That hurt me…

"and can still hear you ya know." They all looked at me and tackled me to the ground.

"heey! Look but don't touch the merchandise dearies!" ugh, man they are HEAVY so I flipped them over and sat on top of them.

Barbie on the bottom, Chuck in the middle and Uncle Mac on top, which I am sitting on. I was gonna tell them 'don't mess wit da best yo.'

When Bubblicious and Face came in holding a still knocked out Rude orange dude. "hey! Whats going on here?"

"it seems, that she is sitting on top of Yamanaka Ino, Naara Shickamru and Choji."

"ugh! You!" …wait me? "for your information Bubblicous, I am a 'awesome' and some would say 'epic' but hun, I am not a 'you'."

"whatever! Just what are you doing to Asuma's team!" hmmm… what is she talking about… oh yea… I'm sitting on top of people. Must be Asuma's team.

Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw a small shadow over into the trees a few miles away.

"oh snot…" i muttered. I jumped off of the pile of people and did a bow.

"I am truly sorry I couldn't introduce myself, but I have to get going if you want myself and yourselves to live."

And I dashed to get outta here. Dammn… why does he always have to follow me?

I was still thinking about that until I bumped into someone. "heey, watch it-…. My, my young lady… what are you doing here in place like this?"

**Aannddd…CUT who is this mysterious stranger? Who is the perv that kou bumped into? Why do not have any pants on? NO BODY WILL KNOW**

**Kou: and THAT'S why nobody gives her monkeys…**


	20. introducing:The shadow! DUN DUN DUN!

**Heellllooo! I hash made anozuh chaptah! **

**But rlly, I need to know which ceratin people kou should be making blush and kiss and stuff. So far I was thinking madara, itachi, sasuke (wow all the uchihas) a bit of another oc in this and… yep, give meh some couple thiughts if ya have any!**

Third person pov

Kou had bumped into Jiraiya as he was trying to flirt with her.

But she hastily said to him "sorry, excuse me, I have somewhere to be…" and he asked her before she got away,

"and is that somewhere in my arms?" he asked with a sly smile.

Kou was about to retort but saw another swiftly fleeting shadow miles away into the trees.

"I'm, sorry. But I have to go now!" and she fazed right through his body and ran frantically straight towards the village entrance.

Kou pov

He's here… it's not possible! He's not supposed to be alive! It's just not possible! He's dead! I made sure of that!

He's getting closer… no! I don't even know what dimension this is!

I passed surprised villagers as what wind blew past them, which was me. I'm almost there… out of this village… he can't hurt them here.

My eyes were locked on the large gates where I was heading. I was just a step closer… just…a bit… closer… until everything went fuzzy.

I caught a fleeting sight at the entire creeper club hidden well in the trees looking at me. The next thing I feel is my body collapsing onto the ground.

Third person pov

Villagers were gathering around the strange girl the was face down, sprawled onto the ground.

Then out of nowhere, ninjas were around. ANBU, genin, kunoichi, even the hokage herself were here.

She was barking commands at everyone to stand back and to take her to the hospital under intense watch.

While doing that, she felt powerful presences. But dismissed it and decided to investigate that later.

**Aaannnnddd now im down. Ill make another chapter soon.**

**Kou: HES ALIVE? WHAT? WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME FRO YO?**

**Read and review!**


	21. introducing:The Jack Twins!

**Alllooo!**

**Kou: MINKEYZ**

…**. I don't own naruto or anything!**

Kou pov

Ughh…. What the snot happened?... shadows… pervs…. HOLY SHITOKI MUSHROOMS! I gotta get outta here! So I attempted to jump out of… bed?

*sniff sniff*…blech, the scent of hospital… must be a hospital… {NO, REALLY?} SHUT UP FRO YO! The whole room was white with the grey and black tiles.

I goy up and saw the expectant faces of some people who I was sure I had wiped from this existence.

"Long time no see Kou. I see your still as large chested as ever."

"Silence Jin."

"awww come on, Gin! You know its huge!" and that's one of the reasons I wear a huge jacket…

"We have finally found you. You gave us quiet the slip there dear. And to think you got away to. Where have you been all this time?" Grrrr… stupid azz pirate hunters…

"That's none of your business!" I barked. "Besides. You two are supposed to be DEAD."

"oh Kou my love, we are far from dead."

"oh, really? Because I don't think cutting you into itty bitty pieces, burning the pieces to ashes, feeding them to hell hounds, then chucking them off the end of the universe MEANS THAT YOU WOULD BE ALIVE."

Jin laughed his stupid as snot laugh while gin smirked. Just then the door opened and in came Bubblicious and… a middle aged looking woman with a busty chest… but that's weird… her aura reads that she's an old lady… what evah… and she's staring at me in dis belief. I know, I'm just too beautiful. And by the way, that was sarcasm.

"Hmmm… but you don't SEEM like a middle aged old lady…" I swear, I had the most sarcastic smile on while she was fuming. Bubbliciouswas holding a clipboard while looking like she should get outta the room.

"WHY YOU…*keh hemm…* That aside, who are you? And who were you talking to?" I didn't bother looking to where the stupid azz twins were. I knew they were already gone. I have gotton to know them too long and too well.

"I apologize. I must have made a terrible first impression." I slowly got up from the white bed and onto the floor. I still had my boots on.

"My name is Kou Sparrowall." And there was a high pitched voice that could only be described as a guy trying to imitate a girl. "KOUSELLA RULIANA SPARROW!"

So I kicked whatever was under the bed. Hard.

"Oww! Fudge that girl has some ki- *kick* FUDGE THAT WAS MY NOSE-"

"shush! Be quiet Jin!" *kick* *kick* *stomp* *kick* "Sh*t!" "h*ll!" I only stared straight ahead twitching while the Old lady and Bubblicious continued staring at the bed. After they finally shut up, Old lady and Bubblicious left the room while giving me suspicious looks.

Once they were out, they made a point to lock the door.

Third person pov

Sai, Sakura and Naruto who had just recovered from his food coma, stood in the middle of Tsunade's office with her looking dangerously serious at them.

"I have a dangerous mission for you three." Naruto's face lit up instantly. "I need you to find out all you can about the stranger that you found at your latest mission."

"Aww but come on! That's not a real missi-"

"no complaints! This is serious Naruto! You found her in Orochimaru's lair, who clearly didn't have any wounds or any bruises in her, did she?" the three fell deadly silent.

" she may be a lucky victim, or an ally of his. But did you see her speeding through the entire village? She doesn't even have chakra from what I can see! Now, I need you to be friend her and don't let her leave the village, under no circumstances! Understood?"

"yes Tsunade-sama!" they all said before disappearing from the office.

Tsunade sighed while gazing at a tiny picture frame of her and another little girl with black and silver hair. " *sigh* But you disappeared…"

Kou pov

I could tell the stationed guards outside with the forced un-natural silence out there.

So I tried to whisper as quietly as could. Then I dropped that idea and just thought to make them think I'm insane (which is partly true) and that I'm just talking to myself.

The twins stood in front of me leaning against the wall.

Jin is a jack nugget with naturally light grey hair with the norm bounty hunter attire. Same with Gin.

Only he's a jack weed with black hair and a serious face and opposite clothes as Jack nugget. He's a tad less annoying. Except more of a stick up his a**.

"What are you here for?"

"Isn't that obvious my love?"

"I have no friggen idea what you're talking about Jack nugget." *sigh* these jack twins are pirate hunters. Best in their game. Been hunting me down for years.

And to think I had lost them. You can always count on the pervs to screw your life… "Well, I gotta go." And they let me jump out the window.

I heard some words they were exchanging only to each other as I jumped. "So, what should we do with our new pet snake Gin?"

"he may be useful, despite we found him half dead."

"hmm… I wonder what we could have gotton for the chicken headed guy who almost killed him… too bad we let him go."

Huh… sound a lot like Road kill and Mr. Creepy stalker dude with no ballz… what evah. Gotta concentrate unless I wanna day from falling off a building…

I know what you're thinking. Why jump out the window, when I can faze through the door? Well here's a simple answer. Where the fun in that?

So out I went into the world leaping roof from roof. I was so close to getting outta here until I was blocked by Guy who thinks it's okay to sit on people's heads. {AKA in case you forgot, tobi.}

"oh gawd it's you. Where's the rest of the creeper club?" the he took off his swirly mask and said to me

"awww, is that any way to talk to an old friend?" and I glomped him.

"MADDY!" I screamed and glommped him. He stiffened in my hug but then softened immediately.

"Where have you been? Why do you look so young?" I shot him a dis-beliving look.

"I should be asking YOU that! According to my kick-azz awesome math skillz, you so supposed to be looong dead!" well… I see a re-occurring pattern here…

Apparently a lot of people I know are supposed to be dead… then I heard familiar shouts. "I need go. But remember, I will be watching." His eyes flashed red for a split second before disappearing into the far off trees.

I turned around and met with Rude orange dude, Bubblicious and Face. They were all smiling at me.

"ehhh… sup?" and Rude orange dude yells in an overly enthusiastic voice "I'm Naruto Uzumaki, next hokage! And team seven will be your friends!"

I see Bubblicious face palm and Face still keeping his smile.

**Annnddd doooone! Im trying to get the romance In there!**

**Kou: WHY IN THE MONKEYZ IS THE JACKY TWINS HERE?**

**Read and review sweetie pies!**


	22. introducing:Some ninja who hate my guts!

**Ughhhh sorry I haven't chapted in A LOOOOOONG TIMEE but…. Its just that this story hasn't gone the way I wanted it to, I have school and when I started the story it was in summer vacation…. Ugh its just been hectic and disappointing. But, I will will myself to finish and try my best. Ok?**

**Oh, and I borrowed DutchyPuppy's oc, Rubi!**

Kou pov

So, Rude orange dude kept telling me about his likes, dis likes, ramen, hokage, ramen, ramen and something about his ninja way. Bubblicious was giving me a small smile while giving the glare at Rude orange dude. Face was still smiling at me.

So I took this chance to slowly creep away towards a tree. Closer… closer… cloooooserrrr….

Until I hit the front of someone.

"Dang! And I was so close to! If it weren't for you meddling kids!" so I turned around to face whoever was the person to DARE kill my chances of getting away from here!

"hey! Whats the meaning of- holy shiz…"

"RRRUUUBBBIII!" I screamed jumping on top of her.

"*sigh* get off of me Kou." I stuck my tongue out at her.

Rubi Aiko Woods. Has straight dark brown hair with red streaks. Also has purple eyes and pale skin. (I suggested giving her a tan, she strictly said no. So I chained her Earth's sun until she was ALMOST burned to a crisp. ALMOST.)

She has slight freckles on her face and had flashed me a phoenix tattoo on her back more than once. My closest companion and first mate of the Black Pearl.

"Make me!" I mocked. So she slowly closed her eyes and counted. "I'm counting up to three Kou…. 1… 2… 3." And she opened her eyes and here came my favorite side of Rubi!

"HEEEEEELLPPPPPP! CAPTAIN IS TRYING TO MOLEST ME!" she screamed while flailing her arms all around. "I was not trying to molest you! I was just trying to suffocate you in a bone crushing hug!"

"HEEEEELLLLLPPPPP" didn't really need help. Until I wrapped my arms around her throat. So she started hacking and really screaming. "HHHHH-*HACK* HHHAAAAALLPPPP-*COUGH*"

"oh, stop being a drama queen Rubi nubi!"

"WAAHHH! WHY ARE THE WAFFLES RUNNING AWAY! WAFFLES! DON'T GO!" and she started running towards a huge building while holding her hands out while I was still holding on to her neck.

"Holy shiznick Rubi! Down girl, Dowwwn!" she made a loud horsey noise and landed on her hands and knees at the front of the building.

"gooood girl Rubi… Gooood girl…" and I chucked a random carrot at her head before walking inside the building for… I don't know why.

I heard her say "I'm not a damn horse Kou!" before I walked into the brick building. I was stopped by some ninja. One was chewing on a piece of straw, while the other looked like he could use some sleep.

So I decided to greet them nicely. "Yo mah bruthuhz, can y'all homies point meh to da cloziest bathy-rooom?"…well, as nicely as I can manage at the moment.

Both had that infamous WTF expression aaaallllll over their faces. They stood like that until I made a move to snap my fingers in their faces until they were gone and attempted to handcuff me.

But I disappeared to some stairs and called out "if ya wanna play some tag, you coulda just said so!" I looked up wards the spirally long stairs and grinned back at them. "Last one up the stairs is a monkey butt!"

They both nodded to each other while smirking then nodded to me. "Grrrr…ATE!" and I dashed up the stairs. I was in front of a wooden door. A second later, they were at the top of the stairs with their backs to me looking down the flight of looong stairs waiting for someone. "Uhhh… wutcha doin?"

I asked going right behind them and whispering. They both jumped to look at me. They had murderous glares directed at… me. I took this as my signal to go run.

"!" and I made a hole through the wall. Wait… so…. The swirly stairs led UP…soo….wow. I'm defying gravity. Until I saw that someone was holding me.

It was Maddy! "Stop attracting attention to yourself." Was what he said for a brief not even a second, before he freaking let go of me to plummet to my ….not really death, more like a really bad bruise.

"LIKE I HAVENT ALREADY DONE THAT" I screamed glaring at his new spot, hidden where no one else could see him and the other akki cat sooki. But they're there… I know they are… the little barstards…

I now felt a pair of arms wrap around me. "awwww look at little Kou…" someone cooed. "this position is quite… erotic, Kou." Came another voice.

"SHUT UP JACK NUGGET! YOU TOO JACK WEED!"

**Blah blahhh! Hiii! I missed you all! I cant promise im gonna upload as much as before, like crankin out 3 chapters at a time, but im gonna try while getting my school stiff, practice, studyin and all that jazz. Well, bye!**


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